LDR: What Does It Really Mean?

After Seeing Them

You know that feeling you get where you're in such a new territory that you don't even know what to feel? That's what it's like to leave your boyfriend after spending every minute of every day together for a whole week.

Now I realize most couples don't get to spend every waking minute together for a whole week but I also don't get to see my boyfriend outside of that week. Honestly it's normally just a weekend so far.

But leaving him is the weirdest feeling. The last time I saw him was August 6th, 2019. It didn't hit me at first. It didn't the first time I said bye to him either. It feels like you're missing part of yourself. Like as if you're not able to complete daily tasks without them there. When you see internet famous people date someone in another country or maybe even across the country, you don't see that side of things.

Saying goodbye is easy. You go through the motions of hugging them and kissing them and telling them to text you when they get home safe. But it feels like you're going to see them the next day, that's what makes it easy. But then, a couple days later, it'll hit you. It always will. You'll instantly start planning the next time you'll see them. You even try to go the very next weekend. But then a week goes by and another. You're both busy, there's nothing you can do. So you plan months ahead. Even years.

I cry almost every other night just looking at pictures from when I saw him last. Just counting down the days until I see him again.

Right now, it's 1 week and 4 days. We've had this planned for awhile. I'm only going for two days. But when you haven't seen your boyfriend in over 2 months, two days is enough. I'm hoping to see him the weekend after that but, again, we're both very busy.

I don't know how I'll handle saying goodbye this time, especially since I have exams about a week after.

But I can tell you one thing, nobody ever told me it would be this difficult to be away from someone.

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note:
I'm sorry this is so short & jumbled, my thoughts are all over the place right now. I will be making longer parts once I get going, I just needed to get the first part out of the way. I'm also very rusty as I haven't written in over a year, so please don't judge. (: