Walk of Faith

3.

"They say ignorance and arrogance come in hand in hand like a 2-in-1 package. Just when you think you've dealt with things more tests and obstacles are brought your way. That's what this thing we call life is full of."

God bless...the troubled individual I once was.

15 years of age.

"Who still reads that ancient book anyways?" I snorted only to meet his straight face again.

"I do and so do many other people and please keep your negative opinions about this book to yourself. It's disrespectful."

My butt felt numb so I got up and walked around ignoring what he said still choosing to voice my opinion. "The Bible is just made up of make up stories with a bunch of laws that restrict you from everything."

"Don't laws in society restrict you as well?"

"Yeah but the Bible is just too complex. Take for example the whole 'honour your mother and father and you shall live long' you telling me every Christian is supposed to do this? Do you know the amount of parents that have neglected and mistreated their role as a parent and you should still honour them??"

In response he nodded and clasped his hands together waiting for me to say more.

"Not everyone should be treated the same because they don't deserve it. Doesn't the Bible also say love your neighbour but what if your neighbour does unspeakable things, are you still supposed to love them?"

"Mhm." He continuously nodded.

"The Bible wants us to suppress how we truly feel...you think people like me would want to honour a deadbeat dad?" My voice cracked breaking down the wall I built up containing my emotions. "There are literally people who take advantage of others, there are rapists out here!...But yet we should love everyone right??"

It was the tear that fell upon my cheek, which drowned me back into my sea of deep emotions. Not knowing, I had kicked the desk I was at over knocking over all that was on top of it. Before Mr Murphy could get to me I picked my backpack up and ran out of school.

...maybe I was being dramatic and selfish a part of me thought...maybe I was entitled to feel this way. I probably deserved it. It's what I get isn't it? For being so sinful huh? Crazy how one incident made me reevaluate my whole existence.

Home, was the place I returned to and locked myself in my room so I could dwell in my sadness with the company of a blunt. The ceiling never seems to comfort me this much when I'm sane, that was what I loved about smoking weed.

For several days I stayed in bed. The days turned into me missing weeks of school. The only way this happened was by me convincing my mom I needed a break from school. As silly as it sounds she allowed me stay at home, there was no doubt that I took advantage of me being the only child so she rarely said no to me.

Me being at home bothered Mr Murphy and Precious but I needed time to get myself together. I stupidly thought I could cure myself from insanity, instead insanity cured me.

"Angel!" Precious stood outside throwing stones at my window. Some days I engaged in small conversations, when she did this but other days, I would let her throw stones till she became weary.