Walk of Faith

17.

'What you allow will continue and we are only as blind as we want to be. Sometimes you have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve. Learn the difference between your intuition guiding you and trauma misleading you."

God ease...my unsettled heart.

20 years of age.

"Zuva you sure you read the instructions properly?"

"Yess mom now sit still."

"I can't. It's burning. Why is my scalp burning?!"

"Oh no. Hold on for two seconds."

I shuffled around in my slippers searching for the instructions that came with the hair dye. Impulsively, my mom had shaved all her hair off after she returned from the funeral then hysterically cried about her decision. Imagine two progesterone filled women, emotionally heartbroken and living under the same roof.

A recipe for disaster.

"That's it! I'm going to wash this off." She bolted to the bathroom. "Zuva you're joking about with my scalp. Don't do that now."

I trailed behind trying to read the tiny font on the instruction paper. "Oh mom, stop exaggerating." A raised my eyebrow and enlarged eyes was my initial reaction at the colour that was coming out."Um?"

"What?" She snapped in irritation.

"Black was the colour you wanted right?"

"Yes for all the greys coming in. Why are you asking such an obvious question? Come and hold the shower."

I kept quiet and waited for her to see for herself. All I know is that I am not to blame. She'll learn to love her blonde look.

"Time for the final reveal." I covered my mouth to hide the smirk on my lips and looked at her annoyed expression in the mirror.

"Zuva kurumidza ndine basa manheru and ndoda kuzorora."

"Ok ok you will have time to rest for work tonight."

She tutted pulling the towel off. Her mouth dropped to the floor. Time to brace yourself Angel. I couldn't tell whether she was angry or not but I'm glad I was saved by the ringing of her phone. I rushed to get it from her room and shouted out the contact.

"It's Martin!"

She lazily waved it off and came to her room getting ready to sleep. "Let it ring. He's going to ask to see my hair then say it looks nice. Men say everything looks nice even when you look like a clown."

"Mom!" I gasp with a laugh. "I'll come get you when your shift is over. I'm off to work."

I changed out of the old clothes I had on and had a hard time deciding what to wear. It was coming towards the end of August and still blazing hot. I opted for a peach sleeveless blouse, grey skirt with sandals.

This choice was quite daring for me because I wore trousers to hide how thin my legs looked to me. My weight increase and decrease was all in my head, it always has been. Though there were a few changes here and there, it was not as drastic as I described it to be.