Friends Don't

Chapter Twenty

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After calling Grayson out a few days went by where I didn't see him except for class. I didn't know if he was mad or planning revenge, but then he started coming back around the dorm with Derek like normal and so far there hadn't been any revenge, though I didn't let my guard down just yet.

I had just grabbed a coffee from the little coffee shop on campus and was headed back to the dorm after my class. On the way there I thought about how things were going for me since being in college. I didn't even have a clear plan for what I wanted. College was my way to get away from my parents. I wanted to leave with my brother, but they wouldn't allow that, and I didn't have a set plan like my brother when he left. So they agreed to let me go six hours away to college.

When I made it back to my dorm building I started thinking about how things had gone in my life up until this point, relationship wise. Sure I wasn't looking for a relationship, but I also hadn't been in one, unless you count Jared, or the two weeks I was with the guy in high school that took my virginity. Does two weeks even count?

"Lana, I've decided," I began as I swung our door open, "I'm done having sex for a-" I paused when I saw Lana wasn't alone, "while." I motioned between Grayson and Derek who were looking at me wide eyed. "Do you two not have your own place?" They both shrugged.

"Why aren't you having sex for awhile?" Lana questioned, ignoring everything else.

"Because," I began as I threw myself onto the couch and setting my feet on Grayson's lap.

"Because Grayson ruined sex for you?" she asked.

"Guys, seriously?" He looked between us. "We did not have sex!"

Lana and I started laughing. I had told her the truth the day I cut him down, but we never informed him of that.

"Isn't it sad how bad you can hurt a guy just by telling him he's not good at sex?" I asked Lana.

"Yep," she agreed. "It's not the end of the world."

"Dude, I can like," Derek began as he rubbed the back of his neck looking more than uncomfortable, "give you pointers or something?" It sounded like he was questioning it but I think it's because of how uncomfortable he felt to even bring it up.

"Oh my gosh." I burst out laughing.

"I don't need pointers," Grayson yelled annoyed.

"P-p- he said he could give you pointers," I said through my laughter.

"Stop laughing," Grayson mumbled.

I was holding my stomach from how bad the laughter hurt. I probably looked like a fish out of water with the way I jumped and flopped around the couch laughing. "I can't breathe," I barely got out as I tried to stifle my laugh.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and cleared my throat. "I'm fine." I coughed to block a laugh trying to escape.

Lana had managed to calm herself down, as well.

"What's so funny?" Derek asked confused.

I chuckled and bit my lip to stop it.

"Nothing is funny." Grayson glared at me. "We never had sex."

"It's true, we didn't," I told Derek. "It was just payback for turning my bed into a water bed." It took nearly a day and a half for it to fully dry since it soaked down into the mattress.

"So, why aren't you having sex?" Lana asked me, again.

I laid back down like I had been. "Because I'm tired of meaningless sex."

"Hm, that's a good reason." She became quiet before saying, "now if only you could find yourself a boyfriend." She didn't say it, but I knew in her tone what she meant.

"Lana," I said in a stern voice.

"What?" she spoke innocently.

"Why do I feel like we're left out of half the conversations you two have?" Derek questioned us.

"Because it's better that way," Lana told him and then stood up from her bed and grabbed Derek's hand. "Let's go get ice cream!"

"Why do you like to eat ice cream when it's cold outside?" he questioned her while standing up from off her bed.

She pulled him towards the door. "Why do you not like eating ice cream when it's cold outside?" Then they slipped out the door leaving Grayson and me alone.

We sat in silence for a little while and it felt awkward. There wasn't ever really a time where it was quiet between us, at least not like this; like there was some unresolved tension between us.

"Is everything okay?" I asked him.

He turned to look at me for the first time since they left. He had just been staring at the wall. "I don't know if you cared that I wasn't around for a few days, but it wasn't because I was mad at you for what you said, though it was rude."

I laughed and when I quieted down asked, "then what was the reason?"

"Because I felt awful."

"For what?" I pulled my feet off of him and to me sitting up.

"For pushing you against the wall." His eyes were searching mine as if trying to figure out how I felt about what he did. "After I did it I thought about how Jared did it to you, and-"

I cut him off. "Grayson, I didn't even think about that when you did it."

"No?" It looked like relief washed over him.

I shook my head. "You weren't even aggressive, and it wasn't even the same." I stared into his eyes. "If you would have had the same look in your eyes like he did, then I would have been scared, but you didn't."

"What kind of look?"

"I don't even know how to describe it." I looked away from him thinking back to that day and the way Jared's eyes looked at me. "It was so many different things rolled into one, but it was an evil glare filled with just pure hatred." I shuttered just thinking about it. "Honestly, I've never seen anything like it before."

"I would never look at you like that."

"I know." I placed my hand on top of his. "Which is why I wasn't afraid of you then and I won't be afraid of you in the future." I gave his hand a light squeeze. "You can throw me up against as many walls as you want."

He cocked his brow. "Really now."

I bit the inside of my cheek. "Yeah, that sounded dirtier than I intended for it to."

We both laughed and he grabbed my hand standing up and pulling me up with him. "Now Lana has me wanting ice cream. Shall we?"

"I thought you'd never ask." I ran in front of him, taking the lead, and pulling him along with me. "Let's go!"

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