Secrets || Derpal (Derek x Jaspal)

Chapter 10

I was seated on the couch next to my brother. Television that watched over us with a blank black screen reflected us, me with my fingers squeezed together and my brother who had his mouth opened, ready to spill questions I too didn't know the answers to.

My mind still switched places from yesterday to present. Replaying the kiss, the movie and Derek's peaceful snores from the couch. This all confused me. It felt almost rushed. And now that I had my brother in front of me, ready to question the whole day, I felt even more bothered. Love is really a difficult thing to take care of.

,,So-- How even did you get to Derek's house?" The first question passed my brother's lips. I replayed the day, back before I knocked on the door.

The doors squeezed shut, opened in a hiss, the voices quieting when almost everyone stepped out of the long vachile, the afternoon air of a busy city filled the inside of the softly purring bus. I stood up and walked out, when a path next to me cleared from the people who looked almost dead. Their faces filled with regret that they even woke up today. I could tell everyone in the emptying bus hated Mondays.

,,By a bus." I answered, but Jovan didn't looked pleased with my answer. My jaw set, keeping my fingers steady. Should I tell him me and Derek are dating? How will he react? Will he accept it?

,,No, I meant why." Jovan corrected himself, looking deep in my eyes, as if searching for the answer by himself.

,,For a video." I answered again but continued talking. ,,What do you even want to know? I go to Derek's place often."

,,And you come back normal." Jovan's lips currled and he jabbed his finger at my tensed frame. ,,Not like this." My stomach did a flip and tugged at my jaw.

,,Not like this? What do you mean? I'm fine." I repeated his words and convincing even myself I'm doing all right.

,,You don't act like this you act like... In love." He said. My fingers grazed my cheek as if searching for a note sticked to my cheek saying 'I'm in love.' but my finger tips only grazed the warmth of my face.

,,I-- how did you even know I'm in love?" I could feel my face flush in shades of red. Not from anger but something like embarrassment. Why was I embarrassed being with Derek? Was it wrong?

,,You know, people are usually in clouds when they are. Or the way you say Derek's name out." Jovan answered my question I didn't know I even asked. When he finished his last sentence, my heart left out one of its fast peaced beats, causing my head to do a little spin.

,,You-- You think me and Derek are dating?" I said, with a shocked hint in my voice, placing a lie over the truth. ,,Are you sane?"

,,It looks like it. And you never was good at lying, so don't even bother to try that on me." Jovan stated, grinning in my face as if it was easy to come out to my family.

,,What if I was?" I asked softly, so quietly that Jovan had to lean in with his ear and ask me to repeat it. My mind and thoughts filled with questions on how he will react, completely forgetting on what had happened today. Everything disappeared, even the crusty pizza I ate with Derek for breakfast.

,,C' mon man," Jovan shrugged his shoulders, the sly smirk still played on one of his corners of his lips, same as his widened pupils. He was ready to discover the truth and prove himself he was right. ,,You'll still be my brother, no matter who you love. You deserve to be happy, Jaspal." Jovan's words warmed me somewhere deep. This was probably the first time I heard him say something nice, reassuring. I didn't even know that Jovan supported the community with the rainbow flag, that I forgot the name of.

In the process of my emotions mixing and words spilling out of my mouth, his palm squeezed my shoulder. It felt reassuring, reminding me there's really nothing to be scared of, that I could lean on his shoulder to be lifted, if needed.

,,I still can't believe it. Actually I'm shocked too. But overall I'm happy for you two guys. Can I be on the wedding?" Jovan spilled another words and sentences. My mind already forgotten about the stress and anxiety, nudging me to just run into my room and forget about the world.

,,Wedding?"

,,Yea. I mean, in movies some of the couples gets married two months in a relationship." Jovan explained, his eyes shined with excitement. He was enjoying this conversation.

,,But this isn't a movie Jovan." A chuckle formed in the back of my throat. I never watched a romance movie, I didn't even had a taste in 'girly' movies, dripping with estrogen.

,,Yea I know. But maybe," he jabbed his finger in my shoulder playfully with a wide bright smile on his face. ,,you'll be the lucky one" he finished his statement with a never dying wide smile.

,,I'm not even lucky." I replicated his wide smile ironically.

,,Oh come on. Look at Derek. A handsome man," Jovan spoke a little thought in. As he recited, a small image of the olive skinned man with raven black hair locks outlined before my eyes. He was looking at me with that little something behind his brown eyes. It still seemed strange to me, I never saw that in his eyes. But maybe that was my mind imagining something that didn't even existed. I shook that thought away with a slight stir on the couch that laid in the middle of the living room. The room was still lit in creamy tints from the sun that shone through the window in gold pillars where dust swirled like snowflakes in winter, it seemed like the sun haven't even moved.

,,Jovan?" i said, focused on a golden spot on the floor.

,,Yes?"

,,When it's the-- when it's the right time to. . . You know. . . To have that."

.

Missed me?