r e n a i s s a n c e

The Desert

Loud wails echoed through the majestic pyramid-shaped palace deep below the sea, the waters rippled and creatures scrambled to escape from the rage of the Earthshaker. Poseidon, sprawled on his mighty coral throne, threw a great big tantrum and sank several islands full of panicking people in the process. Delphus, the dolphin god and Posy's long time best friend, got tired of his moping around. He sidled up next to Poseidon and said, ' Yo, I know you're mad that Amphitrite left you for that stupid beehive god, but just—chill out, okay? You're a god, not to mention you're one of the Big Three, man, get yourself another woman if this one's stupid enough to leave you.'

A spark of inspiration hit Poseidon like a tidal wave of ideas, he leapt up from his throne and got to work. He jumped onto his personal pegasus, Tsunami, and flew all over the world, stopping at every single town, village and city disguised as a handsome wanderer who looked like Johnny Depp. He visited kings' daughters, he met musicians , he knocked on the doors of farmers. But alas, none of them were good enough, or pretty enough, or smart enough, or fierce enough, or liked seafood enough, or liked beaches enough, or sucked up to Poseidon enough either.

Discouraged, he trudged back to his empty palace, resumed his place on his throne, and continued bawling his eyes out. As even more islands sank and flooded, Delphus came to Poseidon again, 'You getting it wrong man, there aren't only mortal girls in Greece, you're missing out!'

Poseidon thought and pondered and wallowed in very deep thoughts, then he remembered his long-time crush on the moon goddess, Artemis. He decided to pay her a visit, he scoured all the forests, searching for a sign of a band of 149 girls camping out in the forest. You'd think they'll be easy to find, but it still took Poseidon 28 years (he's not very bright). He crept into their camp as a cloud of sea mist, careful not to trigger any of their traps and snares. He snuck into the biggest tent, grabbed the sleeping goddess and disappeared in a shower of salt, leaving behind a very obvious pile of gleaming crystals. Hermes revealed himself behind some bushes.

'WHAAAAAAAAT?' roared Apollo, getting to his feet abruptly. Hermes stumbled back. 'Uhh...yes, that's what I saw.' Apollo, with burning eyes, driving his sun chariot at full speed, knocked poor Hermes over and sped towards the sea. No way was that salty sea god getting away with this. In the stormy night, Earthlings gasped in terror as the sun zoomed across the night sky like a shooting star, burning red against the dark blue sky.

Poseidon was flirting with a very grumpy Artemis when Apollo arrived. 'IN THE NAME OF ZEUS(*lightning*) GET YOUR FILTHY FINS OFF MY LITTLE SISTER!' He hollered. Artemis groaned, 'Ugh. Why are men all so loud? Go away, you overprotective stupid idiotic excuse for a twin!" Apollo looked hurt, his massive ego suddenly deflated by a few lame insults. Poseidon took the chance and grabbed Artemis and dove under the sea.

Apollo, in a rage, drove his sun chariot into the sea, and vapour floated up into the sky in a flurry. Waves splashed up but all were quickly vapourized by the sun. The sea bed dried up, leaving only sand and salt. In the distance, the pyramids of Poseidon's palace loomed, herrings and sardines stupid enough to stay flopped on the scorching ground, turning into roasted seafood in a matter of seconds.

Poseidon fled into the Pacific, and became bitter enemies with the sun God, who had vaporised his domain in a matter of seconds and rid him of his one chance at happiness. However, Apollo and Artemis lived happily ever after in blissful sibling rivalry.

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Hii fellow earthshakers! What do you think of our first story? Be sure to leave a comment if you want 😊 it'll be very helpful

This story is the classic, the ultimate, the list amazing amazing one, that's why it's the first yeeeet

Stupidbeehivegods