Mo croí...how I wish I could take away all your fears. How I want no more than to hold you, my arms wrapped securely around you...and make you feel safe. Really safe. Safe in the knowledge that you are loved. In the knowledge that you are wanted. Safe in the knowledge that...I won't abandon you. Safe in the knowledge that you never have to fear my fists, or my words of despondent, condescending despise.
I want so badly to wipe away your tears as they fall, only to eventually replace them with smiles and laughter. To replace the darkness that always resided within your eyes with the light that's always shown behind them. For your eyes to smile instead of cry.
I want to chase away your demons and nightmares.
I wish you knew the depth of my love for you. I've loved others, yes. Deeply. But you...no matter whom I've loved over the years, none have ever come close to touching the place I've reserved for you three quarters of my life.
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. I don't know if that's true for everyone. But I never gave up hope that I'd one day rediscover you. And when I did that part of me that's only for you was unlocked and allowed to flourish. How I want you at my side. To wake up with you and fall asleep with you.
To make you understand that love doesn't have to hurt. Love doesn't have to come attached with pain and bruises.
Love can be beautiful. Love can lift you up from your darkest moments, revive what you once thought was dead. Jump start a broken heart and glue in all the cracks from a tortured soul.
Sometimes I would see you...before I stopped seeing you around...and we would catch eyes. You always looked like you wanted to come over to me. Or me to you. This sad expression clouding those eyes that have always been burned into my memory; and you'd walk away once again.
Come to me. Take my hand. Allow me to show you what true love and true happiness is.
The heartbreak in your voice tonight as you asked me a question after I said something funny...the near devastation and uncertainty broke my heart. It made me want to take you in my arms all the more.
My love for you is eternal. And once I am able to call you mine...never will I let you go.
I love you. I've loved you for a life time. And I can't wait to show you what exactly that really means.
One day you'll read these and I hope that you will smile.
