One Wish Left

CHAPTER 18: JERICHO

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Donna watched her daughter push flakes of salmon around her dinner plate. Caleb Bridges had called the day before to invite Kieran over to his house for dinner this evening, so it was just the two women at home. It had only been three days since Chad had left the morning after their outing for Jesse's birthday, but Laura had been a distracted mess ever since.

Unable to bear it a moment longer, Donna said, "Daughter mine, what on Earth is going on in that brain of yours? You are in your own world these days."

Laura put her fork down. "Is it that obvious?"

Donna gave her a pointed look.

Her daughter sighed, and Donna waited patiently for the explanation she knew would follow.

"It's so strange, Ma. Having Jesse around has shifted something for me." She picked up her empty glass and swirled the ice cubes around the bottom of it. "It's been so comforting and stabilizing. I've felt more... like myself than I have in years." She let the cup drop back to the table with a clink and looked up at her mother. "When Chad showed up, everything felt fine, but when we went to Jesse's party, it was like a collision of worlds. I hardly know what to make of it."

Donna picked up the water pitcher and refilled Laura's glass. "What was your experience, how did you feel, when the three of you were interacting?"

Laura took a sip and caught a piece of ice in her teeth. She chewed it thoughtfully for a moment, considering. "I felt completely destabilized. That's what's so confusing. Before we got there and on our way there, I was who I always am: a strong, professional, single mother who loves life and loves her boyfriend. But as soon as we got there, Ma, it was... it was like I didn't even know who I was anymore. Jesse takes me back to a different version of myself. I feel seventeen years old again, which is rather wonderful, except when we're all three in the same room." Laura dropped her chin into her hand, resting her elbow on the table. "Oh, Ma, it's so hard to explain."

When Laura's eyes strayed to the painting in their living room, searching it as if she might find an answer hidden there, Donna commented softly, "It must have been very discombobulating, feeling like two different people around these men."

Laura looked at her mother in surprise. "That's exactly what it felt like. How did you know that?"

Donna smiled and put a hand over her daughter's. "One of the many reasons why I loved Brodie so much was because of how his love allowed you to come into your own. There were things I had always known about you, as a mother does, that the world had not yet been privileged to see. Your artistry, your intelligence, your humor, even your beauty. When Brodie came along, those things that were always in you bloomed outwardly, and it was breathtaking to witness."

Laura looked astonished and touched by these revelations. She wrapped her hand around her mother's.

"You changed from a girl to a woman in that year and a half, and it was a good thing, too, since you became a mother shortly after that," Donna continued.

Laura's eyebrows creased. "But I don't understand. What does that have to do with me feeling like two different people?"

"Your personality wasn't the only thing to blossom during your relationship with Brodie. Your heart, your capacity to love another more than yourself, to give yourself fully to another, these were the precious gifts you gave to that boy." Laura still looked confused, and Donna gave her daughter a patient smile. "Let me ask you this. After Brodie died, what did you do to make yourself eventually feel comfortable seeing other men? What did it take for you to go on a date or even have a boyfriend after that?"