"Jae?"
I hummed. We were lying down the bed, our hands holding tight, and we stared at the ceiling.
"Why did you leave me?"
I turned to her, she had this sad expression.
"You told me you wouldn't leave me. And I remember the exact sentences you said.."
I just looked at her, she assumed it was an indicator for her to continue.
"I want to stay to know your good side. And I did. I stayed to know your good side even though I get hurt, even though my self-confidence and self-esteem is being lowered every time you scold me... I know you're a good person, using the cold and arrogant façade. Why don't you want to be free and be yourself?"
"Why don't you want to be free and be yourself?" I said at the exact same time she said that, until now, I still haven't got the answer as to why and we're married.
"I-... I never wanted people to cry when something bad happens to me. I wouldn't want them to weep at my funeral when my time comes. I wouldn't want them to worry, I wouldn't want them to be sad when I am sad, I wouldn't want them to take revenge on someone that have hurt me, I wouldn't want them to leave me. So I thought, maybe if I would be a bad person, people wouldn't want anything to do with me, they wouldn't want to be part of my life because I'm a bad person." She ended.
I smiled and cupped her cheeks, "You're such a good person it kills me." I started as she looks at me, shocked.
"You care about everyone, but didn't care about what people would think about you. You didn't care of what consequence you might face because of the attitude you had. All you cared for was people's feelings." I noticed her eyes were teary.
"Why did you love me?" She asked as I smiled, ready to say a long ass speech.
"Because there's no reason not to." I started. "I never hated on anyone, even if they do bad things to me. Because I always tend to understand them before I judge them. And the same happened to you. I thought, 'Maybe there's a reason why you're like that.' and there is. There's always a reason. My love for you started when you smiled at me, when you thanked me because I held your hand when no one else couldn't. My love for you grew when I saw how happy you were doing the things you love and going to places you wished to visit. When I saw your passion for kids, when you sang with your beautiful and angel-like voice, when you smile, gosh I love that bunny teeth. When you hold my hand whenever you're feeling troubled and letting them go because---like you said you don't like people getting too attached to you---and you flipped me off after..." I paused as she chuckle and I smiled.
"Once I knew my feelings for you, every insult you said hurt more than before. Imagine falling in love with a person and that person would just say 'fuck off' 'you're an idiot' 'you're lazy' that is not in a joking manner." She feels guilty, I kissed her forehead.
"You don't need to be guilty.. I chose to be hurt so you'd know how much I love you. I chose to be hurt so you'd know I would be here for you. I chose to be hurt and be used as your punching bag so you wouldn't hurt anyone else." I said and finally, her tears flowed out.
"But still.. I hurt you.." She said as I shook my head.
"You did. You really hurt me. But, because of the feelings I have for you, all of it didn't matter if it makes you at peace." Nayeon's tears were flowing nonstop, and I decided to wipe them.
"Why did you leave me then?" I don't know if I should answer this. This was the cause of Nayeon and her dad's argument.
I didn't answer, instead grabbed something from underneath the bed. It was a box, and inside was my notebook where I put every words I wanted to say to Nayeon but couldn't send them to her.
She sat up to read every page, her tears flowing again. I grabbed a handkerchief from the bedside drawer and wiped her tears.
She closed the notebook minutes after and attacked me with a hug.
"I'm sorry, Jae..." she sobbed. I rubbed her back, "You don't need to be sorry.. I already have you, that's enough for me." I smiled as Nayeon hugged me tighter.
"I will stay..."
"Of course, you have our baby." I retorted as Nayeon pulled away and playfully slapped my arm.
"I wouldn't go anywhere, not because I have YOUR baby.. it's because I love you and I have OUR baby. I want our baby to have the best dad ever." She said and glanced at her tummy. The baby is already three weeks old.
She turned to me with a smile, "I love you, Jaehyun.." She said and leaned in.
"I love you more, bunny." I chuckled when she playfully slapped my arm again, but stopped when Nayeon captured my lips.
I love her so much, it's insane.
