IF WE WERE MEANT TO BE // Billie Eilish

Chapter Fifteen - i can't catch you

Billie's POV

It's Monday. We flew back on Friday. I haven't spoken to Francis since Thursday night when we kissed. The whole plane ride she was either busy with work or asleep.

As the lift of the building reaches my office floor, I immediately dart my eyes around the room in search of her. She's tucked away in a corner surrounded by sketches with her headphones in and her hands covered in graphite - she looks so beautiful in her element.

"Yo." I say, approaching her. She doesn't hear me with the headphones - I can hear music by The Hunna booming out of them. I crouch down to softly brush my acrylic nails up and down her arm, but the second I touch her she jumps, causing her to draw a massive line across the sketch she's working on.

"What the fuck's with you?" I laugh as she pulls her headphones off.

"Bil, I'm busy." She replies, shrugging me off and focusing back on her art.

"What's got you in a bitch ass mood?" I ask lightheartedly, trying to hide my concern; the last time we spoke I admitted how strong my feelings were for her so what am I supposed to think?

She ignores me and puts her headphones back in, causing me to furrow my eyebrows. It's like I don't exist.

"Billie." Mike calls from across the room. He seems extra irritated.

"What the fuck is everyone's problem, today?" I murmur under my breath to myself, before following him to his office.

***

After a briefing about upcoming events this week, I go back into the main room to see Francis. Honestly, I cannot remember a single piece of information I've just been told - I was too busy being in my own head about her. What if I came on too strong? When she ignored my calls and texts on the weekend, I thought she was just busy. But with every second I'm getting more and more worried.

She's talking with Finneas as they go through her sketches. Whenever Fin's free these days, I'll always find him going through her work. They've grown really close since England - the same with Claudia and her. And I've gotten kicked to the fucking curb.

Forgetting myself, I stand there watching her smile as she talks about her passion with him. She looks so carefree - a look that instantly fades when her eyes catch mine.

Excusing herself from the conversation, she gets up and walks away until she's out of sight. I immediately follow behind her.

"Hey!" I call, storming into a room after her.

"I'm busy." She states, fiddling with the printer and keeping her back to me.

"Since fucking when? You were literally just talking to my brother's boring ass so why not me?"

"I don't have time for this." She mumbles.

Anger rising inside of me, I march towards the printer, so that she can't hide her face from me. When I get there, photocopies of her artwork fly out of the machine and my rage fades into shock.

The sketches aren't any of the ideas I've worked on with her. They are haunting, yet mesmerising. All of her previous work has been no where near as dark as this. It's by far her best work but by far the most horrifying.

I place my fingers on the sheets and start to trace along the lines before she snatches them away.

"How did you come up with this?" I almost whisper.

"Anger is by far the most fuelling emotion." She replies, raising her eyebrows whilst sorting the papers into a neat pile.

"Anger?" I ask, hoping that she'll finally open up to me.

"Never mind." She smiles.

"Your fake smiles suck ass." I joke, wanting to make her laugh.

Instead, she looks at me dead in the eye, her expression serious and thought-filled.

"Please stop." She whispers, her voice croaky. "Just don't."

Just as her eyes look like they're beginning to cloud, she starts to walk out of the room but I catch her, refusing to let her go.

"Francis-"

She spins around and presses her lips against mine, cupping my face. I feel a tear fall from her eye onto my cheek. The kiss is more desperate than any we've had before - it's soft yet urgent.

She pulls away and rests her forehead on mine, keeping her palms on my face like she can't let go.

"You can't feel like this about me." She says quietly, squinting her eyes to prevent anymore tears from coming.

"Francis, I told you, I'm falling-"

"You're falling. And I can't catch you. So I'm stopping you before you jump in the first place."

She pulls away from me.

"I've already fucking leaped, Francis. What the hell are you- what the fuck happened?" I protest, my volume raising as I grip onto my hair with my hands in tight fists.

"I - I can't."

She leaves me frozen in the middle of the room. Alone.

A/N: THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!

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