IF WE WERE MEANT TO BE // Billie Eilish

Chapter Twenty Two - Just one last time

I nervously walk through the hospital, counting along the doors of the rooms. People inside them are in all kind of states, making me fear for Elliott even more and quicken my step.

My phone rings again and I switch it on silent - 7 missed calls from Billie.

Finneas is standing outside one of the hospital rooms and I fell my heart in my mouth and I hold my breath. The second he notices me his face becomes more solemn.

I go to open the door but he stops me. I look up at him confused.

"Francis." He starts. "You need to know before you go in, it's bad."

"What happened?" I whisper, not wanting to know the answer.

"She was out and bumped into Mike. He said some things and... well, she bought some alcohol. The next moment, she's driving home and-" He cuts himself off, unable to speak further. Clearing his throat, he slowly takes his hand away from me, allowing me to go into the room.

I push open the door and see her, all broken and bruised. Both her arms are wrapped in bandages and various tubes stick into her body. Her head turns to see me, causing her eyes to squint from the pain of doing so.

I instantly rush to sit on the bed, my eyes widening with alarm.

"I'm fine." She laughs, which turns into a sob. "I'm okay."

I cup her face with both my hands, refusing to let a tear fall from my eye. "How could you be so stupid?" I laugh, causing her to grin whilst she sobs. "You can't be this reckless." I continue, a serious expression now on my face.

"I know. I just-" She croaks.

"You don't have to explain. Just don't scare me like that."

She gives a small smile.

My phone begins to buzz again in my pocket. We both look at it.

"You should pick up."

"No. I don't want to. I want to make sure you're okay."

"Francis." She laughs. "Don't worry."

"You only get to say that when you're not in a hospital covered in bandages." I joke, causing her to giggle.

Her gaze falls deep into my eyes with adoration. I look away, breaking her trance as the realisation that I don't want her like that comes back to her. She places her hand in mine and fiddles with my fingers, reminding me of Billie. I stare at them, whilst she returns back to my eyes.

"I'm not going to compete with her - I know that I could never win. But, I want you to kiss me. Just one last time."

I lean towards her, then kiss her forehead. 

"You know that's not what I meant." She grins.

"I know." I reply, pulling my hand out of hers. "I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Francis?" She asks, leaning over to her pile of clothes and pulling a joint out of the jacket pocket. "Have one for me?"

I smirk, taking it from her, then leave the room. 

Looking around, my eyes fall on Finneas and Claudia talking to Luke at the end of the corridor. He notices me and gives me a comforting smile. I run towards him and wrap my arms around him tightly, squinting my eyes shut. He holds me and squeezes back, resting his lips on my forehead and kissing me. 

"She's waiting in the reception for you." He gently whispers in my ear, referencing to Billie.

I nod, then leave them to find the car park. 

***

Sitting down on a bench and lighting my joint, I take a deep drag and slowly exhale.

"You smoke now?" A familiar husky voice says coming up to me.

"We're in a hospital. If that doesn't remind you that we're all gonna die at some point anyway, I don't know what will."

She takes a seat next to me. "There's a different between dying by mistake and killing yourself."

"My apologies for being so selfish." I sarcastically respond, taking another drag. "As if you can lecture me on selfishness." I scoff.

"Yo, I fucked up. I don't know - I wasn't thinking."

I pause. "You should see what she looks like." I reply, staring into nothing. "I did this."

She knows me, and knows that I don't want her to protest. So, she stays silent, takes the joint from my fingers and puts it out. 

We sit there for a while, not touching, not speaking, just sitting in our own thoughts.

"I like you." I suddenly say, causing her to look at me with confusion.

"I know." 

"No you don't." I interrupt, meeting her eyes with my own. "If you knew that, you would've told me about Elliott. Why don't you believe me?"

This time it's her to look away first, but my eyes stay stuck on her.

"I just... keep. fucking. up. I don't know how to do this shit, man - I don't know how to feel this shit and it's messing me up."

I softly gather her hair, brushing it behind her shoulder, then place a gentle kiss on her exposed neck.

"Remember the song I wrote you? The one I played at that concert? I want to produce it - properly. I wanna publish it."

"Do you think that's a good idea? Won't the public start asking questions?"

She smirks. "Better take your hand off my thigh or they might."

I remove my hand and instead place it on the outside of her leg, bringing her closer to me. "Does this work?"

"Not quite."

I bring my hand to her cheek and pull her in until are lips are millimetres apart. "What about this?"

"Now this shit might be a bit suspicious." She grins. I lean in and kiss her big, beautiful lips. A car passes on the road, causing me to jump and pull away from her. "With your crazy ass, no one's gonna know a thing." She laughs. I playfully hit her, then weave my hand into hers and pull her back into the hospital.

***

"All good?" Luke asks. I nod.

"I'm gonna quickly check up on Ell before we go." I say, turning to Billie.

"Actually, can I speak to her? I need to apologise for being a dick."

She goes in and shuts the door behind her. Ten minutes later, I follow her in and see them both laughing hysterically.

"This bitch is coming on tour with us. She's deadass the funniest person I've ever met." Billie says, seeing me. I look over to Elliott and she gives me a reassuring smile. 

Claudia enters the room with a puzzled look. "Since when are these two friends?"

I laugh at how ironic this is, since at first they wanted to rip each other's heads off.

"Come on, let's go." I say to Bil, pulling her hood over her hair to get her attention. "I need you to help me with something."

a/n: i'm sorry i havent updated for two weeeeekkkksss.

life has been crazy. 

anyways, i really hope you enjoyed this chapter. (jus warning you, some crazy shit about to go down)

i really want to publish this chapter asap, so i'm gunna skip the cast update for this chapter

what do you think will happen next?

PLEASE ADD TO YOUR LIBRARY, VOTE AND COMMENT!!!!!!!