This is everything I didn't say - Nikki Sixx. (Sequel to Contagious)

Chapter 1. Rock n Roll

I'm woken up by the telephone ringing next to my head. 'Ugh not now.' I mumbled, shoving the pillow on top of my head trying to drown the sound out. It finally stop ringing, only for it to start all over again.

'Yes?' I asked, annoyed. 'Get your ass down to the studio right now, you're an hour late!' Alex's demanding voice came through the phone. 'Oh shit I'll be there soon!' I half chuckled, hanging up and getting changed.

A lot has happened in the last two years since Nikki left me. We're just about to put our new album out, Guns and Roses have put their new album out and are more popular then ever and Motley Crue also released a new album which is their most successful one yet.

If you're wondering if I've heard from Nikki, not one word. Absolutely nothing. I haven't seen or heard from him at all which you'd think I would considering Alex is still married to Tommy and they come over quite often. I called him a few times after he checked into rehab but it sounded like he was drifting further away and I thought he needed more time so I stopped calling

If you wanna know the truth, yep you guess it, still not over him. Although I'm doing much better now and loving my life, I still think about him all the time. I'm still waiting for him to come back since he got out of rehab at the end of last year but I don't want to push him.

In the meantime I've being having fun, I've slept with a couple of guys. Even Izzy and Sebastian Bach. I'm not gonna lie I wished they were Nikki the entire time but it's a good distraction.

I put on a red hot chilli peppers shirt with denim shorts and my cons before making my way downtown to the studio. I turned on the radio and they were in the middle of playing Dr. Feelgood. It was a fucking good song so I sang along till the end.

'Here's the latest from the Pretty Poisons, a song called Rock N Roll!' The radio host announced. This was actually the first time I had heard this song on the radio and I was absolutely stoked! I think this is gonna be our best album yet.

'Let em know that we're still rock n roll

I don't care about my make up
I like it better with my jeans all ripped up
Don't know how to keep my mouth shut
You say so what? (What?)

I don't care if I'm a misfit
I like it better then the hipster bullshit
I am the motherfuckin' princess
You still love me yeah

Some-somehow its a little different
When I'm with you, you know what I really am
All about, you know how it really goes
Oh oh oh oh yeah
Some some way, we'll be getting out of this town one day, you're the only that I
Want with me, you know how the story goes

When it's you and me,
We don't need no one to tell us who to be
We'll keep turning up the radio
What if you and I
Just put a middle finger to the sky
Let em' know that we're still rock n roll'
Rock n roll!

Don't get a bad attitude dude,
I ain't never gonna cover up that tattoo
I might have a couple issues
You say, me too yeah!

Don't care about reputation
Must be living in the wrong generation
This is you're invitation
Let's get wasted! Yeah!'

I sang along to our song in the car as I pulled up to the recording studio. 'You guys I just heard our song on the radio!' I yelled as I ran into the studio. 'No way!' Alex yelled back. 'Our new single?!' Ash asked. 'Yep!' I said smiling, hi  fiving Imogen.

'Congratulations girls, now let's get to work!' Vicky said behind me giving me a pat on the back letting me know she was proud. We got stuck into recording and managed to get the album done for it's release next month. 'Have we decided on a name yet?' Ashleigh asked.

'How about Here comes trouble?' Alex asked us. 'Hey I actually really like that.' Imogen said. 'Me too!' I agreed. 'Alright it's settle, that's what we'll call it.' Ashleigh beamed. We finished up the recording session and went up to the roof where a patio was for a cigarette.

Oh by the way, we had also cut down a lot on our drug intake as it was getting a bit much and we didn't want to end up like Motley or the way Guns are going right now.

We all sat at the table and lit up our smokes while Imogen picked up a magazine at the end of the table to read. Her eyes went wide as fuck and then she looked at me funny. 'What?' I asked, curiously. 'Uhhh-' she started saying. 'Hey don't start the party without us!' Tommy's loud voice came from behind me. I turned around to see Tommy with Paddy following closely behind.

'Hey guys!' I greeted them. Paddy had gone to rehab with the help of Doc and gotten clean again, I couldn't be more proud of him. As I turned back around I noticed Imogen showing Alex and Ash the front cover of the magazine and exchanging weird looks amongst each other before looking at me.

'Seriously What is it?!' I asked, annoyed. 'Uh H maybe you shouldn't look at that.' Paddy warned me. I ignored it and snatched the magazine out of Imogen's hand. 'H you don't wanna see this.' Alex also warned me as I looked at the cover.

My heart sank to my stomach as I read the front page. 'Nikki Sixx In Hawaiian paradise with new girlfriend Brandi Brandt!' It read with a picture of a very tanned and even hotter then before Nikki with his arms wrapped around another women on the beach. I stared at it in shock, should I have known this was coming? I have no fucking clue.

I threw the magazine face down on the table as I tried to control my tears. 'So much for coming back.' I spat, taking a drag of my cigarette as everyone looked at me sympathetically. 'I wanted to tell you H, I just didn't know how.' Tommy said sadly.

'How long has he being going out with her for?' I asked. 'A couple of weeks.' He replied quietly. 'Oh well if he's moving on then so should I.' I said with a smile on my face, trying to be positive. 'That's the way H.' Paddy cheered.

I was about to excuse myself to go the toilets and cry my heart out when Vicky interrupted us. 'Girls, we've got a meeting for you to attend downstairs.' She said before disappearing. Oh well, guess I'll have to cry later.

We all got up and followed Vicky downstairs, the girls all giving me a hug and saying sorry in the mean time. We walked into the meeting room and sat down while Vicky shut the door. 'Okay girls I've just received big news.' Vicky said smiling really big.

'Yes??' Alex asked curiously. 'MTV want you to perform your new single at the 1989 MTV Music Awards!' She announced. 'Oh my god are you serious?!' Alex screeched. 'Fuck Yeah!' I cheered. 'That's awesome news Vicky, thank you!' Ashleigh said. 'It's in two weeks so you'll have plenty of time to practice.' Vicky said.

After discussing a bit more information about the awards show, we retreated back upstairs to the patio where Tommy and Paddy waited in good spirits. 'What was the news?' Tommy asked. 'We're performing at the MTV Music Awards!' Alex announced. 'Shit hot! So are we!' Tommy yelled, hugging Alex.

I was happy for everyone until I realized what Tommy had just said, they were too. That meant that Nikki was gonna be there, with his new girlfriend. Oh god of course he is. 'Hey, it will be fine.' Paddy said in my ear as he read my mind.

'Yeah I know.' I replied, trying to convince myself it was going to be. I've changed a lot and so has Nikki so maybe it will be fine and it won't bother me so much when I see him.

Guess we'll find out.

(Song by Avril Lavigne.
Here's the first chapter, sorry if it's not that good I'll promise it will get better! Thanks for reading)