Chris, Chris, can I ask you a hypothetical
Sure. I'm not doing anything
Ok. So, heres the scenario
Your crazy ex gf is breaking down your door. You're covered from head to foot entirely in peanut butter, and - and you're naked
Pft, okay
Okay so, what do you do
I'd call the cops, i guess
But wait, no, your landline bill just ran out
Fuck, well, I'd use my mobile phone then, wouldn't i?
Nope, no, you reacted too slow. Now she's in the house, and you're hiding under your bed asking your friend what to do
I...well...wait a minute
Zach, buddy, you good?
Shuddup, you're making my phone ding
1. You texted ME
2. ...this isn't a hypothetical, is it
NO IT ISNT
HELP ME CHRIS
ZACHARY YOU FUCKING IDIOT
