Hey, Can I Rant?

045

November 15, 2019

After I walked out of class, dumiretso na ako sa bahay namin. I was ignoring Manang's question kasi kahit ako hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagkakaganito.

I like Gwy, that's a given fact. Pero yung umasta ng ganun? What the hell, Vince.

I heard my phone buzzed pero binalewala ko lang ito. We've been chatting halos everyday pero natatakot padin ako.

Gwy doesn't deserve this.

Yung sa chat lang, she deserves to be treated like a fucking diamond.

But for some reasons, hindi ko kaya.

Tangina, and duwag ko.

I kept weighing things out on when to actually tell her that me and the Vince the stranger are actually the same person.

Kasi who's sane enough to believe it?

Plus, we've met before, nung birthday ni Shanti. I never liked people so I stayed in the balcony, when suddenly a girl giggled and sat next to me.

She was drunk as hell. Bakit ba kapag nag-uusap kami palagi siyang nakainom? I chuckled at my thought.

She started bickering about how vast  the universe is and how small she is. How afraid she is to wander but at the same time she wants to. I was just staring at her the whole time.

She was so talkative.

"Have you ever wondered how vast the universe is and how tiny human beings are?" She asked giggling.

"Because, I do. It is scary what the universe holds but at the same time I am so intrigued of what it has."

Silence. There was silence. I was only looking at her while she's looking at the skies filled with stars.

She's a fallen heavenly body that I'm weirdly attracted to. Looking at her never fails to fascinate me. Like how a moth is drawn to the light.

An amazing masterpiece.

"You know, sometimes, I love talking to the moon. It listens, just like you." She looked at me, her eyes' sparkled and darn it! My heart was fucking racing.

She smiled.

Holy shit she smiled.

"I also wonder how the universe works-- I mean, not the celestial universe but the fate kind of universe, you know?" She was swaying and chuckling.

"If people are obsessed over whether you are making the right decision, they are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another," She  paused, catching for her breath, "God being a rapper sucks, anyways," She giggled, "The universe has no fixed agenda, you know. Once people make any decision, it works around that decision, there is no right or wrong. Only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience." She yawned.

"In short, the universe has no complete control of yourself but then again, I still question the universe's capacity. It's just weirdly amazing how you wished that everything will fall down to its place and the next day, it did. It's a question I can't comprehend to answer."

I am completely in awe on how she speaks, she delivers everything passionately, she's beautiful in her own ways without her knowing that she is, she's completely unaware of how many things she is capable with. And I am completely in awe.

I smiled at her even though it feels like she's only talking to the moon and I'm not around.

There was silence again, until I heard her snore so I chuckled at tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Hey, do the universe a favor. Don't hide your magic..."

That was the first time we talked and probably one of the best night of my life. She was so drunk that I had to carry her to Shanti's room to sleep.

And then I remembered all the conversations we had when she was drunk, well, she was drunk twice only, the first one was hella cute and astonishing while the second one was weird, fucking weird.

She was a hopeless case! She was freaking flirting on me and all I could do is blush.

I could only talk to her through my fake ass accounts, I can't talk to her personally, I just can't...

With the state I am now?

I can't.

The phone kept on buzzing so I decided to answer it.

"What?"

"It's her birthday tomorrow."

"You think I don't know that?"

"Yeah, sorry, forgot that you're a creepy stalker."

"The hell, fuck off, Shanti."

"Dude you need to know this, Gwy's been disturbed by your actions yesterday. Lol, stop being a baby and be scared. You have fucking balls, fucking use them."

"Yeah, sure."

Shanti's like my spy, kahit ngumingiti lang si Drianna ng dahil sakin, isasabi niya sakin. Halos everyday may report siya, I don't know why he's doing it but I am thankful he does.

"Lol, you're welcome, Vince Arthur Ponce. Goodluck cousin!"

And when the line dropped, I have decided already...