The storm inside

Part 1

"I wont have sex, not now anyway and not with anyone" I stated.

I could hear the laughter and more importantly, the scoff, coming from Anna.

"Why? Are you too good for it?" Anna asked mockingly. I ignored her.

"Are you sure about that Rain?" Noah asked. The class went silent.

The girls in particular were shooting daggers at me for my outburst. According to them girls finally have sex the way they should, like boys and men alike?

"Yes. And its Rania" i said calmly. But Ofcours he knew that.

"What are you waiting for Rania?" he emphasized "Marriage?"

I didn't care how it made me look so I didn't bother answering the class clown.

"No way!" Noah said, amused. Even though she wasn't looking at him she could only imagine the smug smile he had on his face.

"It shouldn't be hard to do since no one is rushing to get into her pants" Anna spoke to the class. Earning her loud laughter.

The "oohs" by her class mates were interrupted when Mr. Smith had enough of their banter and continued reading their newest book which caused disruption. I had already zoned out the voices of her class mates.

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That evening I completed the rest of my assignments we had been given. When i finished it was already 11 pm and i was starving. Luckily my dad left her a plate outside my door. He was used to my insistent need to eat when I was done, and only then.

At school it was clear to me that everyone had found it amusing that I was a virgin. I dont see what the big deal was. I wasn't getting in anybody's way. I just stated my opinion.

"So you just don't want to have sex?" Loren asked me in the library. I sighed, closing my book and smiled at my sweet acquaintance.

Loren lifted her spectacles from her nose awaiting a response.

I thought of how to best answer Loren. "You know how boys like the chase? It's a fact. When a girl doesn't like him at all his fast action is to press harder because he thinks she is playing hard to get but in actual fact she is just not interested."

"Yes" Loren answered thoughtfully. Clearly underwhelmed by the answer.

"So there you have the chase. The chase leads to getting to know each other. When the girl feels safe she has sex"

Loren intensely waited for her to continue.

"so I want the chase without the sex. I want the happily ever after. A guy will be nice if he knows their will be some prize at the end. I don't want that guy, no. I want the guy who is nice simply because he is."

Loren smiled happy with the answer. But i wasn't done.

"So if you don't take the happily ever after guy, you will be faced with consequences. The shame and embarrassment, the ex girlfriends, the heartbreak and the jealousy. Sure you move on but you are no a memory in someone's head. and yes everyone makes mistakes and moves on but I choose not to be someone's memory in that way." Rania concluded.

"wow, I think I get it" Loren said. Her eyes alight with new information, wrapping her head around the new insight into dating. "thank you" she said sadly, picked up her books and left Rania all alone once again.

A book fell through the shelf where Rania was seated and she could see who the culprit was. As he came forward, smug smile ready Rania sat up straighter.