Soul Lost

Chapter 3. I Jumped Off A Roof

I almost fell asleep due to the fact that I had been through a lot the last week and my brain just wanted to shut out the world. For quite a while, I thought about just sleeping and not going through with my plans. Unfortunately, I was set on the idea of suicide. What was left for me here anyways? So at about 3 AM I crawled out of bed and slowly collapsed onto the ground. My face planted its self into the carpet and I just lay there for a while.

"Man, moving is such a pain." I mumbled.

If it had been a normal day, I would have laughed at myself for being so lazy, but I felt no joy inside me tonight, only depression. I slowly pulled myself up off the floor and started tiptoeing in the direction of the bottom of the apartment. I held my breath as I passed my aunt's room, then hurried to the main door. I turned the knob as quietly as possible, walked into the hallway towards the inner apartments and the giant stair case that went up 30 levels of apartments before reaching the roof. I tried not to look down as I climbed up the stairs. It was VERY high in the air and I didn't enjoy it one bit. I felt like I was going to fall backwards or over the side and have a very messy injury. Then I realized for the first time that the roof was going to be even higher. In my planing, I had over looked the fact that I was terrified of heights.

"WELP, there's no turning back now." I said swallowing nervously and slowly continued my ascent upwards.

Stumbling up all those metal stairs without shoes was NOT fun. I caught my bare toes on sharp things every few minutes and by the time I reached the top, my feet were a bloody mess. I sighed and grimaced when I turned around and saw the bloody tracks that were on all of the stairs.

"Well at least I won't be around to have to scrub all those stairs." I laughed awkwardly into the dark void below me.

The stairs were the only visible object, it was even too dark to make out where the walls were. I opened the doors that led to the roof and was captivated by the sight. Above me there was the beautiful, mystical glow of the milky, white, full moon. I was high above most of the city lights, so I could see the amazing sparkling of the stars and the millions of constellations above me. I sat down in a daze and just stared at the open expanse of the glowing sky. Inside I longed to be there, free and living in the wide, lively sky with no rules and no one to hurt me. I wish I could go anywhere, see everything, and travel throughout the galaxy.

I heard a few gun shots, answered by a scream, echo through the musty city air and I quickly snapped out of what ever daze I was in. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I wanted to go back. I wanted to stay in that dream world I had been in. I wanted to leave this miserable place.The sounds of traffic below were so loud now that I couldn't think any more. It was time.

I walked to the edge of the roof shaking with fear and determination. I stood at the edge above the bright, moving street below me and looked upwards. I prayed a silent prayer to anything at all that my dog would have a good home after I was gone. And I thought to myself that it was in vain, because if there was a God, why would he let bad things happen to everybody. I was surrounded by air particles that caught the moon's glow and I felt peace for a moment as I reached out my hand to feel the strange white and blue light. I pinched my other hand and shook my head. Then I leaned forward, my heart pounding and I fell. I did it. I jumped off the roof.

I closed my eyes and braced myself for a fatal impact, but to my shock I was still falling. Wait a second. No, I wasn't still falling. In fact, I could feel myself going upwards. That's impossible though! Slowly I opened one eye and immediately closed it because of the intense amount of fiery light I saw all around me. It felt like my eye was about to become a burnt crisp, so I just covered my face with my hands to try to protect my eyes and the pain stopped. What was going on?!