Racing Down Sunset Boulevard

Chapter 27

Ariana's POV

I feel numb, but I'm used to it so I'm past the point of caring where it came from or how long it would last. This state of floating through life, existing but not living.

I can't help but miss the moments I hadn't felt like this. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to remember the times I'd felt genuinely happy. My first date with Gage. The first time Kay held me and told me she loved me. The day Nate took me to the cinema and sang along to Disney music. When I let myself be held by Mateo, just for the sake of it.

I'm staring soundlessly out of the window, watching the scenery change from wheat fields to pine clad roadsides, little droplets condensing down the window as the temperature keeps dropping. Despite the Seth's and Skylar's offers to ride with them and the rest, I declined. They'd all sounded more pitying than genuine. As if they were doing me a favour.

"Ari? Are you still awake back there?" Caroline asked, and I realised that her and Iusti's chatter had died down, both of them expecting me to say something.

I rolled my eyes "No, I'm sound asleep, I'm sleep talking,"

She let out a harsh puff of air, an exasperated sigh she seemed to reserve solely for me "I asked you if you'd mind if we changed the music to something more rock,"

"No, why would I?" I listened to her swipe through a few songs, give up, and type something. A familiar song starting blaring on the radio, but I couldn't quite pinpoint it.

"Is it Guns n' Roses?"

I received a grunt from Iusti, "Paradise City" he said, humming along softly

Despite myself, I smiled. Kay would have been proud of me for guessing that one.

I itched to text her, ask how she's doing, ask her to just help me, because I miss her and realised I can't do this without her. And then I remembered how I watched her step into Gage's car and how she's been cosying up to Nate lately, and think better of it. I felt my anger rise up again and fought to keep it at bay. God help her if she dares to warn me off Nate ever again.

How well do you really know Nate? Those words kept running through my head, and I knew the answer she was aiming for; not well enough. I know his favourite colour is violet, he hates thunderstorms, and loves the cold.

In short, I don't know a whole lot about him. But I wasn't dumb. I knew there was a chance for him to suddenly just turn into a sociopath and murder everyone I care about, but the chances seemed impossibly slim. His golden retriever Biscuit is too much of a sweetheart to have a sociopath as a master, so I think we're good. After all, if she really thought he was derailed, then why the hell was she being so friendly with him all of a sudden?

But that didn't stop me from doing a discrete sweep of the apartment two nights ago when I slept over, looking for anything suspicious. I spent almost an hour rifling through drawers like a crazy woman before realising I was becoming paranoid and I should go back to sleep before Nate woke up and asked questions I had no answers to.

My phone vibrated against my leg, and I snapped my head down so quickly I gave myself whiplash. But it wasn't Kaylah, because of course it couldn't have been. Instead, Vee had texted checking up on me.

After that first day of school, I'd felt so alone and lost I did something I would never normally do; I texted the almost stranger that had saved my life that day at the stadium. Who knew having had an abusive ex is such a good start for building a friendship?

Of course, Kay was right, again. Talking to someone who'd gone through something similar helped me come to terms with what happened.

"We're here-" I didn't wait to hear the rest of the sentence before I rushed out of the car and took a gulp of air, the taste of rain and pine thick on my tongue as I dialled Vee's number. We were on some kind of hill, and I could see the town sprawling out in front of me, arching over hills and slumping down into meadows, undulating like a languid wave.