THE REALM

Chapter Twelve

  It took everything within me just to dare myself to cross such an obstacle again. How was I going to be able to kill monsters, if the current task before me was too great for me to accomplish?

  Kuri seemed to think I was up for this so, armed with that confidence, I started out on the rope that was now stretched out before me. In a way, I guess I had to first conquer my own fears and bring them into subjection before I could face a monster that invoked fear just by the sight of it.

  The task at hand was not easy, but it helped to look away from the gorge below to Kuri up ahead on the other side, confidently waiting for me to join him. I made it across in half the time and I didn't fall this time.

  Even though Kuri hadn't had to catch me, it seemed as though the magnetized power of his gaze had helped pull me across my worst fear to date.

  *****

  I stared into the campfire somberly. This was to be our last night on the outer reaches of the mountains. I'd been here a year already and yet the time had seemed to fly.

  During that time we hadn't encountered so much as one person. That was all right by me. Well, mostly all right.

  A persistent ache seized hold of my mind. It would've been nice to see a girl.

  I'd seen so few of them in my life, as I'd rarely had the chance to leave the farm, but I remembered what they looked like. Memories however were no substitute for reality.

  Kuri tossed a log onto the fire and sparks leapt upward for a moment. Completely startled I blinked rapidly from the disruption of my thoughts. I glanced dazedly at Kuri before guiltily looking away.

  After a tension filled moment on my part I heard him ask in his deep voice, "Is there something you want to talk about?"

  I remained silent in my shame, as I knew full well how much of an open book even my private thoughts were to Kuri. He could see everything. My eyes closed in shame as I delved back over the thoughts I had just been having.

  "What do you want to know about women?"

  My eyes opened and I gazed at Kuri, startled. My lips fumbled out, "What?"

  Kuri just smiled and eased back against a log more comfortably. I looked away from him, not sure what to think of his question, let alone what to ask.

  Staring into the flames Kuri spoke, "In the beginning El Elyon fashioned man after His own image and out of the man He fashioned the woman, together the two are one. So by having stated that, I hope you can see that there's nothing wrong with the desire within you to be one with the other half of your creation. It's a natural, even Creator attributed, function of being a man."

  "Benaiah?"

  I glanced over to him and met his gaze as he said, "There's nothing wrong with you and I certainly don't disapprove of you fulfilling your created function and the desire intended for you to experience from the union. There is only one thing that I will caution you on. Your desire should only be fulfilled with the other half of you, which means I want you to wait until you find that woman. Don't be like the men who visited your mother or, for that matter, the Kingdomer's who have a wife at home but visit brothels every chance that they get when away from home."

  I nodded and looked down. I had a question and I asked it, "How do you know when you've found the other half of yourself? The girls that I've seen…… well…… I was attracted to a lot of them. How do you know which one is the right one?"

  "It's easy to say, but hard to explain Benaiah. You'll know her when you see her. The important thing is to wait for her and that can be a very hard thing to do as a man."

  I gazed into the fire, privately acknowledging the truth of those words. I wondered how long I would have to wait. I glanced at Kuri to see him fire gazing as well.

  I had another question, but I didn't know how he'd take it. His eyes left the fire to come to mine and I realized that I might as well ask my question anyway as it was common knowledge now.

  "Did you ever find your woman or are you still waiting?"

  He spoke slowly, as if seeing a scene from the past play out into the present moment, "I was engaged to be married, but she wasn't ready. More simply put, she didn't want me. So I guess you could say that I'm still waiting."

  I stared at Kuri incredulously. What woman could possibly pass up on a man like him?

  I swallowed nervously as I contemplated how slim my own chances might be at finding the right girl based on his luck. Hesitantly I asked, "So what are you going to do? Are you going to find another woman who will want you?"

  Kuri smiled bittersweetly, "I suppose for some that would be an option, but you see Benaiah, for me the situation is that I still love her."

  "Even though she turned you down?"
He nodded.

  "You're going to continue waiting for her to change her mind?"

  He nodded and said, "Yes. My love for her has no bounds. Whether she changes her mind or not, I will be waiting patiently for her until there is no more time."

  I shook my head in consternation, "Kuri, you're the best man I've ever met, if anybody deserves to be happy in life it's you!"

  His bittersweet smile turned to one of warmth then as he said, "Oh, I will be Benaiah. You'll see."

  "You have that much faith that she'll change?"

  "I do."

  "What about all the time that's already been wasted?"

  "None of that will matter as long as we're together in the end. As I told you, Benaiah, my love for her is boundless. I truly mean that. My love for her is not based out of what I will gain from the union, but rather out of the love I have for her the person."

  I shook my head, "I don't understand."

  Kuri smiled and just went back to staring into the flames.

  I felt anger against this woman who had rejected my mentor and friend. He seemed to have no anger towards her though, so why should I?

  I hoped I didn't suffer rejection from a woman like he had and still was. Why did everything have to be so complicated?