The Ashen Raven's Treason

Chapter 18

Cloak has stayed as far away from me as he possibly can. If I walk into the dining hall for one of three meals, he stands from his chair and departs, leaving a half-eaten plate behind. Once, he hadn't even received his meal yet before deciding he wasn't hungry anymore. Every noble had looked on with questioning stares until they realized who had walked into the room, the woman still hiding in the form given to her at birth. I know what they want to see, but for Cloak's sake, I keep her hidden.

Other times, he locks away in his chambers or holds private training sessions late at night. Most of his activity shifts to happen under the stars—precisely when I'm asleep. Gav and Keaya come and go, the only people he speaks with. Even his siblings have received the cold shoulder. Whether training, studying, strolling, or simply hanging around in his chambers to drink—Cloak is alone or in the company of other Panjandrum Corps members. They appear to be his only allies. At least, that's what he thinks.

I can't dig through the pressed layers of soil fast enough to discover if Cloak means to end my life. I strongly doubt he would go through such lengths just to remind me who he is, but I can't say he has never surprised me. Hating me this long hasn't shifted, days have passed, and he still turns the other direction if we cross paths. Literally. He'll turn back the way he came and quicken his pace to avoid me.

Not to say I have tried to interact with him. Gustus advised me to give him space, so instead of knocking on a door that won't open, I give myself distractions. Day by day, I spend fewer hours at the palace and more with Castiel and Reseda. Their relationship grows before my eyes. Giggling has evolved to flirting, then to strolling through the city together dressed too finely to be anything other than a date. Even my own brother doesn't have time for me anymore.

His treatments haven't improved, but Reseda works hard to involve the high healers in evaluations. Still, they say surgery is the best option. I haven't spoken to Castiel about it yet; he continues to avoid the topic around the dinner table and alone in his room, so I keep my mouth shut and wait for the moment I can either speak to Reseda alone or he bursts at the seams, desiring to speak to someone about his nerves. He knows I am busy with my own battles; Castiel shoves down his own so mine receive the light of day.

Everyone tells me things will get better. Cloak will loosen the reins on his anger, Mutes will come out of hiding and be my friend again, Chaska will stop working such long hours on the wall. I haven't seen her in days; our schedules don't coincide  and merely a passing wave—on accident—is all we have mustered to maintain our friendship. But she seems happy enough.

I keep going back to the simple words spoken to me that night. You had a life before Cloak, you'll have one after. My one purpose at the palace is to protect him from something he can't ward against, and if I can't do that, what is my purpose here? Why shouldn't I go back to Gudgeon and take up my occupation as a fish cleaner so Ocanthio—our foreman—has someone to rely on during these cold winter months?

I wouldn't dare drag my family back. Castiel doesn't rely on me much anymore, Chaska finally has something she can battle herself with, and Theoden has realized his lifelong dream of owning a storefront in Exole.

Gustus and Theo have tried to keep me busy but no amount of tagging along on their shopping trips or brushing the loose scales from dragons will distract me from the awkward glances and hushed whispers coming from nearly everyone on royal ground. Rumors are stirring of the queen's closest supporters wishing to make an example out of me, to banish me from ever stepping foot in the palace again. I am a Luminary, and I lied about being such.

The Raven Queen has yet to budge. In fact, I haven't seen her much since that night. Other tales claim she has locked herself away in the council room to pour over battle tactics in case her sister makes a surprise appearance. Along with Mutes's and Friava's disappearance, the former only showing his face to visit my brother, another claim states she has taken to the bedroom to ward worries away.