Intoxication

Chapter Thirty Seven- Apologies

*Looks sheepishly around the room* SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry about the long wait..... I know it's so horrible of me. But writer's block sucks eggs. I didn't knowI had this chapter writen so I'm just throwing it up. And things have just been rough soooo yeah...... Enjoy.

I pursed my lips and craned my head back, “I guess I should apologize to Hayden too, I kinda snapped at him the other day and Ryan since I’m feeling generous,” I mused mostly to myself.

“That would be nice of you,” Daemon said stroking his fingers through my hair. Once or twice his fingers would get snarled into my curls without him knowing and he would yank his fingers through without thinking, causing me to wince and ruin the nice moment.

“Well, since you’re not ignoring me anymore, we should finalize things, for the attack. The sooner the better,” he commented

I nodded and then when to find Hayden. Then I decided that I should include Mia, Emily, Andrew and Ryan, that way I didn’t have to repeat myself over and over, because if I did, I had a feeling that it would become less and less sincere and more about obligation.

Once everyone was seated in the living room I began, trying not to look like a martyr. I cleared my throat and began, “So it has come to my attention that I have pain-in-the-butt syndrome. I’m really sorry,” I pleaded wringing my hands, “I just felt overwhelmed and I went crazy on you guys, and it’s not fair that you tried to help me and I pushed you away,”

Hayden snorted, “You got that right,”

Emily smacked him on the arm and looked to where I was standing and motioned for me to go on. “Look, I know I’m a hard pill to swallow, and I know it can be hard to tell me things, especially bad news but I promise I’m working on it. I’m so sorry,” my voice cracked and I could feel my nose beginning to drip, I brushed the back of my hand against my nose quickly, “I’m sorry I’ve been a horrible friend for the past seventeen years, I’m sorry that I’ve been a taker and not a giver, and that I’m a drama queen. I get it and I’m really, truly sorry,” I finished lamely.

When no one spoke I took it as my que to go. I jerked my hand up in a mechanical wave and ducked out of the room. I went up to the library and found a secluded corner. I decided that I was not going to flip out.  Just because I’d just poured out my soul to my best friends plus one, and they didn’t tear up and gather up into their arms doesn’t mean that they didn’t love me. I read a couple of books until my eyelids grew heavy and my craned head would droop closer to the book in my lap before I would jolt up and turn the page.

“Brianna?”

I felt my body being jostled, “No, go away. Five more minutes,”

When the shaking didn’t stop I reached out blindly and punched. The concave feeling of my fist pushing itself into someone’s arm relaxed me.

“Ouch, you’re mean when you’re asleep,”

Groaning I knew I was up. I stretched out my limbs which I had cramped into the loveseat that provided the basis of my nap. My muscles ached in protest, but I forced them to relax anyway. Taking a weary eye and the one who was fortunate enough to wake me, I saw Ryan rubbing his arm.

“What?” I asked, by it sounded as if there was cotton in my mouth and came out marbled.

“Is this how you treat your alarm clocks, because that hurt,” he said, “Oh and everyone is looking for you,”

I nodded mutely and walked back downstairs where a chorus of relieved sighs rang in my ears. Mia and Emily ran up and threw themselves at me, causing me stumbled backwards into the wall.

“Okay, smother me much,” I choked out, still relatively tired.

They chuckled and released me, but still remained close, “Sorry, I feel asleep in the library,” I said.

Andrew surprised us all and barked out a laugh, “Where do you not fall asleep. In the forest in the library,”

At that, the tense atmosphere in the room disintegrated as a chorus of laughter filled the room. I then realized that my friends never rejected me, and that it was all in my head. My own laughter joined the choir, and I laughed to my own foolishness.

“So you guys don’t hate me?” I clarified.

“How could you ever think that?” Hayden said, in-between laughs.

I shook my head and dismissed myself. I was still tired, so I went up to my spacious bed where I could sprawl out however much I wanted.

When I woke up the next morning I went downstairs to find Ryan shuffling through a stack of papers in the kitchen. I came up behind him and peered over his shoulder.

“Hey, no work in the kitchen, “ I jested, referring to his glum mood, “The kitchen is a happy place. How can you be sad when there’s milk in the fridge and nutella in the cupboard?”

When Ryan looked up, I could tell that that he hadn’t slept well last night. My happy-go-lucky attitude fell to the floor and I sat across from him. “What’s wrong? Really?”

Ryan threw a rough breathe out and ran his fingers through the side of his hair and shuffled through the papers again. “Nothing, just stressing out about the invasion and everything, I want everything to be perfect with the minimal casualties.”

I nodded solemnly, and reached across to offer a comforting hand, “Sometimes you just have to let things run their course. There’s a lot that we wish we could control but we can’t,” I paused thinking about everything that had happened in the past months, “That’s just how life is.”

“So touching,” Hayden said in-between fake sniffles.

At that the heavy air dissipated and everything was okay in the world, even if it was for a little bit.