Ghost Of You

Chapter 42

"Ghost Of You" Chapter 42

Selena’s P.O.V

I looked at the calendar on the computer in Justin’s office. I counted backwards like I had done six times before in the past minute and a half just to make sure.

I was a month late and by late, I mean… that kind of late.

A month?

I took a deep breath and wiped the tears off of my face.

I had so many mixed emotions going on in my body that I almost couldn’t handle them. I knew something was off in Miami. I knew it. I could sense it. Why wasn’t I paying more attention? I hadn’t been keeping up with the time. Days had turned into weeks, and weeks had turned into months. Now, here I sat, two months… pregnant? Was that possible? I had always been regular and could count my cycle by a calendar. This wasn’t good.

It had only been two weeks since we got back from Miami, but I felt like that had been a lifetime ago. With everything going on including the break in, then Justin’s health, and then the vacation… sure I had skipped a couple pills—and completely missed the fact that I hadn’t started my cycle—but I didn’t realize that I was this late. The time had just passed so quickly; with all this shit going on, I wasn’t paying attention.

Was I pregnant?

It suddenly made sense. I was tired all the time, and I could barely keep anything down, although, I wanted to eat everything in sight. My muscles were sore and I was having a hard time sleeping. Plus, I was throwing up a lot. I first thought it was food poisoning because those symptoms were the only ones I knew, but that kind of sickness didn’t last this long. It was coming together and staring me right in the face.

I was pregnant.

I couldn’t even think about telling anyone yet. I had to just make sure for myself. I needed to know undoubtedly. I didn’t want to get too far ahead of myself until I took a test. Maybe I was just late for some other reason.

But what about the other symptoms?

I shook my head, trying not to think about it and turned off the computer.

Thankfully, Justin wasn’t home since he had gone back to work, so I didn’t have to come up with a lie as to why I was going out and all that mess.

I stopped dead in my tracks on my way out of the office when I thought about what I was going to say to him. I had to grip the bookcase so that I didn’t fall over. I knew what Justin thought of kids. I knew his position on them; he never hid that fact. What was he going to think now?

"Just breathe, Selena," I whispered to calm myself down. "Just make sure first."

I straightened back up and left the room. I quickly went downstairs and put on my coat, grabbing my keys off of the counter. The entire way down to the lobby, I was trying to control my breathing and stop myself from throwing up. I needed to settle my stomach very badly and added a bottle of ginger ale to the mental list of things I was going to pick up at the corner pharmacy. I couldn’t believe that I was actually on my way to get my first pregnancy test. It was the ultimate walk of shame.

Shouldn’t I tell someone? Did I need to go to the doctor? Did I need to take any medicine? Oh my God, I had no idea what to do. I was an eighteen-year-old, fucking freshman in college with a gang-boss boyfriend who just had a heart attack. What the hell have I gotten myself into? On top of all that, said boyfriend hated children. Justin was going to flip out.

I wiped more tears from my eyes when the doors of the elevator opened, and went outside. I hurriedly walked down the street with my head down, just thinking and trying to still my nerves. The good thing about Chicago was that in a city as big as this, there was always a drug store I could go to and not worry about people knowing me. If I were in Thorp, I’m sure the rumor mill would already be spinning.