𝖇𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖐𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍 | o.d.

Chapter Fifteen

     WHEN MARI WOKE up the next morning, sunlight streaming in from the curtains and hitting her face, Oscar's arm thrown haphazardly around her waist, the first thing she did was smile (and that was pretty much a first for her). She hadn't gone home after the beach last night, she couldn't - not when she experienced what it was like to truly feel safe when she was away with Spooky; not when it meant that Mallory and Doyle knew exactly where to find her.

When the sun had set and it became time to return to Freeridge, Oscar dropped her off a few houses down from Martinez household and waited for her to let Ruben know she was okay and tell them that she would be spending the night at Angelica's. It was an outright lie, one that Geny could probably see right through, but the Martinezes knew Angelica and the girl was as close to Mari's age as she was going to get and considering how close Mari was with Mario, it wasn't a huge leap to believe they'd know each other. Besides, with everything else she had going on at the moment, Mari couldn't bring herself to worry about one little white lie, not when it meant she got to keep some of her sanity.

Ruben and Geny didn't argue, though she could tell they both wanted to. She couldn't help but feel that they were loosening the reigns a little, indulging her just enough to keep her from going off the deep end. If anything, Mari supposed she could thank Mallory for this little piece of freedom. Either way, she had taken the extra rope they were offering and spent the night with Spooky.

Now, Mari didn't believe anything could truly be perfect because to expect perfection would only end in disappointment, but if she had to measure it, last night would come pretty damn close.

Most of the night was spent tangled up in each other as if it were both the first time and the last - every kiss was gentle and yearning, every touch had Oscar clinging to her like she might disappear. With his hands and his tongue and every word he whispered so desperately in her ear and against her skin, Oscar made her feel beautiful, sexy. He made her forget all about the man who had taken away her confidence and her agency and her choices. That night, her body was her own and she happily gave it to him.

So here she was now, barely clothed in only her panties (and last night's confidence quickly fading, so she'd probably scrounge up one of Oscar's too-big t-shirts soon), legs tangled in the sheets, and under no obligation to leave as soon as possible (another first).

Determined to enjoy this moment at least a few minutes longer, Mari closed her eyes and cuddled further into Oscar's side. The arm that was previously draped over her waist fell a little lower as she moved closer and she tried to ignore the way his hand now rested on her lower stomach.

She couldn't ignore it.

Her fingers itched to move his hand, but she didn't want to wake him. Insecurities crept up her skin like insects but there was nothing she could do to shake them off. Almost as if on instinct, Mari's hand joined Oscar's where it rested on her stomach. She still had no idea what she wanted to do, had no idea if she could cope with any of her options. There was no way she was strong enough to make this choice, she was only just starting to get a grip on her own life, how was she expected to handle someone else's?

And then there was her vainest concern; which would have the least impact on her body? Either way, she would never be the same, but would Oscar still like her afterward? Would she still like herself? Somewhere in the back of her mind, Mari knew these weren't the things she should get caught up on, but she seemed unable to make the intrusive thoughts stop.

Trying not to dwell and her insecurities finally having got the best of her, Mari tugged the sheet up and held it tight over her chest as she sat up and leaned over the side of the bed, searching the floor for one of Oscar's discarded tops.