My Loving Hope

Chapter 6

I always liked her, before I even knew her I liked her. She was always smiling and laughing and was so positive and kind to everyone; even me. I was never a super popular kid, most of the time if people knew who I was, it was because they heard about the mistakes I made in middle school. You see, in middle school, I was depressed. I went through a really rough stage and lost all of the real friends I had. At least until my freshman year of high school. That was the year that I became for real popular and people considered it cool that I had gotten with a lot of girls in middle school. All of the girls thought I was hot and the guys wanted to be friends with me. It was a welcome change from what I was used to.

However, it comes with a downside. Now, I can't change people's perspectives of me. I will always be the kid who got with a lot of girls in middle school. I'm the guy version of the school slut, only I am celebrated for it. I don't want to be that guy though. I want to be the popular nice guy that people want to be around because he's a good person, not because he has slept around. However, changing people's perspectives of you in high school is a hard order. There are very few ways to do it, and those are costly. You see, the main way to do that, is to destroy someone else's reputation in order to repair your own. The more innocent the person the better. So if you get the cute girl with good grades that hasn't done anything of the sexual nature to want you, your reputation as the school bad boy is essentially destroyed, but that girl becomes the school slut.

Now, normal people wouldn't think that a bad reputation is that big of a deal, but to me it is. I don't like it at all. I want people to start trusting me more, granted, I won't tell anyone that. I hide all of my feelings in front of people because I don't want to get hurt. Lexi used to, but she's had a rough time, and I'm part of the cause of it. It wasn't right, but back then I would give anything to get a better reputation. Even destroy the one person in the world who truly cared about me. It didn't end up working anyways. As a matter of fact, it did the opposite of what I wanted. It made my reputation even worse. Now, I have nothing. I destroyed the one girl who actually cared about me, and there is no way I can ever get her back. I am nothing anymore.