On the Ledge [Complete]

Part 2

"How did your project go, Izuku?" his mother asks as she steps into the living room. She's just gotten off work.

"It went well," Izuku replies from his spot on the couch. He had left U.A. earlier that day but had come home instead of finishing what was left of the school day. His mother doesn't need to know that though. For once, he's thankful he doesn't have any friends. No one will call or stop by to check in on him or give him missed work.

"That's good. I'll go ahead and get started on dinner, then. What would you like?"

"Anything's fine," Izuku shrugs. "I'm not too picky."

His mother nods and heads into the kitchen to prep whatever it is she's decided on. Izuku listens to the sounds of her washing and cutting vegetables. The repetition is therapeutic.

When they sit together for dinner, Izuku makes an effort to eat even though he isn't hungry. He pushes the remaining food around on his plate to make it seem like he's eaten more than he had. They hadn't given him anything at U.A., but he hadn't asked for anything either. He's sure if he had asked, they would've found something. They are heroes, after all.

Once Izuku's eaten half of his meal he excuses himself to his room with the excuse of schoolwork to do. His mother looks between his plate and his eyes, but if she has any concerns, she doesn't voice them. She nods and he leaves the table in favor of his room.

He purposely avoids eye contact with all of the All Might memorabilia in his room. It's a feat in and of itself. Considering his room is filled to the brim with his favorite hero. Izuku can't handle the weight of those sharp blue eyes on him, even if they aren't real. He doesn't deserve to be in the presence of the symbol of Peace. If they ever met, Izuku knows the pro hero would be disappointed in him.

Izuku doesn't blame him, he can't even decide what he wants.

That's not to say that he wants to die. He loves his mom and Kacchan, even if the ever-distant boy doesn't share the sentiment anymore. He also enjoys his hero analysis. All of these things are temporary, though. Eventually, Kacchan will go to U.A. without him, severing whatever relationship they have left. Eventually, Izuku will leave his mother when he moves out. He's already decided to stop his hero analysis now that he's accepted the fact that he'll never become a pro.

Once all of these things are gone, Izuku will have nothing left. He'll go to a dead-end job every day only to come home to an empty house. Izuku already knows what loneliness feels like, how it hurts, and he doesn't want to imagine it getting worse. So, in order to save him all that pain in the long-run, his choice seems clear.

Sure, he regretted his decision when he fell, but that's natural. Everyone fears death. Izuku won't let that one moment of weakness change his mind. He's doing everyone a favor, even the pros. After all, he doesn't have a quirk. He's weak. If he ever gets caught up in a Villain attack, he won't be able to do anything. He'll just be in the way, and he refuses to be something that can be used against the heroes. He would rather die than be the reason a villain wins.

So, no, Izuku doesn't want to die, but it's the best course of action for everyone involved. Everyone benefits in the long-run. Izuku's willing to be that sacrifice. That's what heroes do, isn't it? He might not be one, but that doesn't mean he can't act like one.

With his mind made, Izuku turns the lights off and slips into his bed. It's still early, but he's exhausted and his chest is beginning to hurt. He debates on grabbing a bag of ice from the kitchen before he goes to sleep but his mom is probably still cleaning dishes. She'll ask questions he doesn't have answers to.

Despite being tired, sleep eludes him for hours. He's plagued by thoughts of his mom finding out about what happened Wednesday and not being upset about it, about her being more upset that he was saved than that he tried to jump in the first place. He fears Kacchan learning about it and offering to help him do the deed. Then Izuku wonders about what would happen if he did talk to Kacchan about it.