Then They Loved

Oh my luck

January 10, 2018

My mom just got out the hospital, Things have been pretty busy. Apparently she has Gastritis. It isn't that serious but she was in there for a while, I was too uneasy to write so let me update you, he called me today. As usual he went on and on about autumn, but In a different way today.

Him: " Daisy, I think something is different"

Me: "What do you mean?"

Him: "I don't feel the same, something is stopping me"

Me:"Oh, like what?"

Him: "I wish I knew"

Him: "Maybe I don't love her the same"

Me: "Well maybe you never did in the first place"

"..."

We didn't talk that long, but I could tell something had changed. I just don't know what. I want to tell him how I felt. How much he meant to me. How much I want to see him in person. I couldn't bring myself to say a single word about that. I'm too scared of what it could do. What if he doesn't feel the same or what If we don't talk ever again. I'm so scared. God, please help me. I guess I'll write a bit later. My mom is calling.

- January 11, 2018 - 4pm

He wouldn't stop texting me today. I wonder why. What's so special about me I'm nothing . And according to him Autumn was everything.
We sort of got in a little argument. He said something like around the lines of "I don't know what to do with autumn" and my response went something like "I don't care you keep coming to me can't you understand I have problems of my own I don't care about your miss perfect girlfriend"
Yeahhh maybe a little worse then that. He didn't respond. I know I should have just kept my mouth shut but he doesn't know how it hurts me. I can't handle his perfect life while all I want is maybe to be his. But that isn't my perfect life, like I said it's Autumns.

I wish I didn't want him so much.