Of Birds and Jokers

Chapter 15

If you wish to skip this rant/trip about me talking about my feelings on Steven Universe and all Rebecca Sugar has done, feel free to skip to where the bolted text ends. That's where the story begins.

Now, Steven Universe. Created by Rebecca Sugar. It's coming to a close soon, and I'm not sure where to express everything I'm feeling other than here, as it's the only platform no one in reality knows I use.

If you have never watched it, I highly recommend it. Every single episode. Every single season. Some of this might not make much sense if you don't.

This show...has helped me grow into who I am with PRIDE. I got into it when it was in it's second season and...I grew up with it in some of the most difficult to navigate parts of my life.

I started high school. Friends I thought liked me left me. I found my calling in writing, theatre, and the arts in general. All of this was really hard to accept, as well as for my family, as they are sports fanatics, and don't really know what it is to be in theatre; to be different and entertain people.

And let me tell you, a show where everything is about how to change and embrace yourself, to LOVE yourself, in songs and theatrics really lifted my spirits during this time. It made me feel like I wasn't actually alone. These characters on screen are powering through, talking things out, fighting for what they believe, taking the alternative route to a solution, just fully learning to love themselves and others.

And that brings me to my other reason why this show helped me so much. I think I always knew that something didn't click with me, but I only started to recognize it in middle school, and only figured it out when I quit sports and focused on theatre.

A person I knew in theatre referred to themselves as Demi. I wasn't sure what that meant, so I looked it up. And Lo and behold, there is an entire Ace/Aro community that I didn't even know existed. I WAS SO HAPPY. I finally had an answer for why my friends were going on and on about relationships and their...pleasures...and I just couldn't connect why they thought all of these things were so amazing.

And as I dove deeper into this community where I actually felt like a regular person, I discovered something else, too. Something that was a bit more terrifying. Something that I couldn't just brush off to my homophobic father.

I liked girls a LOT better than boys. They always caught my eyes more, and I realized that the weird feelings I had for one of my friends was something more.

But I was horrified of that revelation. We live in a small town, basically all white privilege, and the only people who were publically out were shunned at school/in the community if they weren't attractive or extroverted.

My confidence in myself was at an all time low. And this was at the very beginning of high school. I completely closed in on myself.

And then more Steven Universe came out, and as I watched and saw the love and acceptance, the changes, the conflicts, it all helped me build up my confidence as a proud member of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Especially the wedding. It brought actual tears to my eyes, gave me hope that maybe one day I could have that too. That I could love someone that much, and that it's possible for someone else to love me like that.

All of the messages in Steven Universe are phenomenal, and I can't thank Rebecca Sugar enough for making this show.

And, now that it's ending, I can only feel a sense of nostalgia. I feel as though I've grown up, and changed, along with Steven and the others on their journey. Hell, Steven and I are the same age now. It's crazy to think how much this show impacted my life.