Sell My Soul, Steal My Heart (Sir Pentious x Reader)

Chapter 17.5: Absence Makes-s-s the Heart Grow Fonder

Sir Pentious entered through the doors of his estate, accompanied by one less companion and several more troubling thoughts. He was in the foulest of moods, practically feeling his anger bubbling up like venom on the tongue, which he also had an adequate supply of.

"Boss! How'd it go-" piped up one of the many miscreants that you had taken such a liking to.

"It was fine, but I do not want to be bothered for the res-s-st of the day. Understand?" He shouted the last part, practically screeching.

The next thought that came to him was almost reflexive. You would not be happy if you saw him screaming at the eggs. He could even imagine the face you'd give him, disapproving, slightly paled like how you always turned when he lashed out, something that fueled a feeling in his stomach, a feeling that too closely resembled guilt.

Well, you weren't here, now were you? And that was precisely the damnable issue.

The eggs all began to scatter, perhaps surprised at his outburst, which had previously been far more suppressed as of late. He was left alone. Absolutely, positively, alone. His shoulders sagged while his chest slightly heaved from shouting, letting the idea sink in.

"Uh, boss?" squeaked a voice below him, just as he had let down his guard.

Sir Pentious pinched between his eyes, exhaled, then looked down to where an egg boi sat casually on his tail.

"What. Do. You. Want."

He was five seconds away from crushing this stupid, defiant subordinate, clenching and unclenching his fist as the itch became stronger. It didn't take long, however, to read the number plastered to the small egg.

"Twenty-Two," he hissed, spat like a curse.

"That's me!" Twenty-Two replied happily, twiddling his little thumbs, "I was just going to say that I can't actually leave you alone right now."

"And why would that be, if I may as-s-sk," Sir Pentious replied, not really asking at all as much as he was demanding it.

"Well, Miss Y/N told me to watch over you, and I can't exactly do that if I don't-"

"Ohhhh yes-s-s," Pentious suddenly grimaced, reaching down to grab Twenty-Two by the collar of his small suit, lifting him to his eye-level, "Because she just trusts you oh-s-s-so much, doesn't she?"

"I see how you always trail behind her like a scraggly dog. How she always whispers little things to you... Laughs at whatever garish joke you might've said... Kiss-s-ses your forehead..."

Twenty-Two had been in the service of Sir Pentious for long enough to spot when he was zoning out, apparent from the way he practically looked past the egg boi, gaze seeming to be fixated on something far away. Far too quickly, he snapped out of it.

"And, and I s-s-saw your smug, putrid grin when you guilt-tripped her into kissing you this morning. The display was horribly disgusting, and you should be as-s-shamed of yourself, you perverted little cretin."

He had begun yelling again, shaking the egg up and down with a clenched fist as if he wanted to scramble him. Twenty-Two, while not exactly the wisest creature around, had enough sense to realize that he needed to get the situation under control, and fast.

"You know," the egg began softly, once Pentious had paused for a moment, "Miss Y/N told me that when I get mad at someone else, I should talk about my emotions instead of trying to maul (and/or murder) them. Maybe if you'd like, we could-"