Finding Me.

Part 1: Nothing new.

It was a warm morning in Pretoria today. I woke up to the smell of coffe thanks to my cousin Raymond.
'Hey bro, you're just in time for a hot cup of coffee. I have to rush to work'.
Before I could even reply he had already left the apartment.

I had moved to Pretoria just after finishing high school to spend some time with my cousin Ray, my father insisted that I do so before I go to varsity so I could learn some social skills. I finished high school at the age of 16 which isn't very common. As a nerd I was made to skip two grades back in primary school. While it was great for my education it wasn't that great for my social life especially considering that I'm weird and anxious.

Anyway I had decided that I'm going to deal with my anxiety while I try to find the career I want to do next year, although deep inside I knew that I wanted to do a degree in IT. Unlike most kids around me I grew up with computers and I had already started making simple programs by the time I reached puberty.

After sipping on my coffe which was getting cold I decided to turn on my laptop and check some emails, and I found a few which weren't urgent. Just a few marketing emails and one about a freelance job I regretted taking. I began coding, the freelance job was a website for a coffee shop so there wasn't a lot of work.

After what must have been three hours behind a computer screen I felt my stomach growling like a V8 engine on a drag race track. I had to make something to eat. I settled for a bowl of cereal and an apple which was a usual routine anyway. After eating I took a bath and focused on my phone.

There wasn't much happening on my Facebook, just a few people being themselves. And I know I'm not that popular there, maybe on GitHub (a platform where programmers share their knowledge and so forth) and online gaming platforms. I didn't really have a life out there, not even a girlfriend but I hoped that it would change soon.

I changed into shorts, a plain tee and sandals and headed to the mall. I usually go to the mall at times when there are less people, I am weird around crowds. I easily get overwhelmed and it triggers my anxiety which isn't pleasant to say the least. Anyway I got there and went around some shops greeting a few people who looked friendly. To others greeting is just a normal thing to do but for me it's an achievement. Because you're a weirdo (a voice in me says)..