saving violet // l.h

o n e

violet //

I had awoken yet again from another bad dream, sweat dripping from my forehead onto the sheets, dark purple bruises were now forming on my light pale skin, i still think i have demons living inside my body because they just appear out of no where. I walked into the bathroom and applied makeup on getting ready for another shitty day. I yelled for mum, no answer.

You see my mum she was never home, always working hard to support us both ever since dad left us about 9 years ago. Dad and I were the closest, he would do anything to make me feel like a princess then one day he said he would be back but he never came back, he just left us like that no explanation, nothing. I would stay up all night waiting and waiting for him to come back, he never did.

Mum would always blame herself for him leaving, I would always tell her "It's not your fault" over again. I still fucking hate him for what he had put us through. When I was 13 I suffered with depression and i changed, a lot. I started smoking and drinking done drugs. It helped me get mind off shit. Mum missed dad so much she tried to move on dated a few guys but never worked out. It was hard for her and I felt bad, she loved him so much. She would cry herself to sleep nearly every night I always heard it. She was always worried about me she was scared one day I'll end up attempting suicide again. When she came home from work she would always check up on me first thing. She constantly had breakdowns, me and her were similar, and i wish she would take care of herself more.

She once came home from work and found me on the floor with blood surrounding my lifeless body and me holding onto the pills i had tried to overdose on. She took all my razors and pills but i still have a stash hiding in my draws.
i'm even lucky to be alive, I was in hospital for about 3 months even though I wish i died when she found me.
Mum then forced me to go counselling. There was no way i was going to Rehab. I had a session today with Dr. Peters, he was nice and also good looking but I just hated the shit hole, period. I left the house locking it and pulled out a smoke or as people call them 'cancer sticks' I sighed feeling happy letting the toxins take over my body. People were giving me weird looks but i just shrugged it off and kept walking.

I walked into the building or as i call it "hell". People smiling at me but i just kept walking, this place gave me anxiety. I sat down staring at the plain white walls, my legs bouncing up and down patiently waiting for Dr. Peters. I then felt someone sit next me, goosebumps were forming onto my pale skin, I sucked in a breath and turned to the side of me. My eyes nearly bulged out my head, the guy sitting next me was really fucking attractive. Blonde hair pulled into a quiff, lip ring which looked really fucking hot, sleeves were rolled up revealing a couple of tattoos I nearly moaned at the sight. His bright blue eyes were staring at me, he smiled at me I turned around my cheeks turning a crimson red, I heard him chuckle.
"Hi I'm Luke Hemmings"