Courting Chaos

Chapter two

                              Chapter two

   “Head Mage?” I call softly, hesitating in the door way leading to his room.

   He turns to me slowly, an eyebrow raised just slightly. His face is worn and tired, each and every line and wrinkle another story to tell the Mage children. Over the years he’s developed a limp and he seems to be always hunched and haggard. His brown eyes crinkle slightly as he offers a reassuring smile.

   “Yes, Faye?”

   “I wanted to ask you something,” I murmur, hesitant suddenly, almost unsure.

   “Go on, you know you can talk to me freely, Magic or otherwise.”

   I wet my lips and nod thoughtfully, more to myself than him. I try to organise my mind, get my thoughts in order.

   “I wanted to ask if… perhaps once I’ve finished my training and become a fully-fledged Mage, could I leave Elzora?”

   He frowns and I know the answer then and there. He opens and closes his mouth, trying to find the correct words to put me down gently, before shaking his head firmly.

   “Faye, no Mage is allowed to leave Elzora. Those are the rules. This is our home, where we – and you, belong,” he pauses. “Why do you ask to leave? Are you unhappy?”

   I shake my head. “No, nothing like that, Head Mage. I just… I just wanted to explore all of Morhaven.       I’ve only ever seen paintings and maps… Being here my entire life – it seems almost a prison sentence.

   “A prison sentence?” He exclaims. “Faye, that’s no way to look at Elzora!”

   “I know, I know… sometimes I can’t help how I feel. It doesn’t matter anyway, I just wanted to ask if it was possible,” I pause and find myself imploring suddenly. “So there’s no way? Absolutely no way that I’d be able to leave, ever?”

   “No Faye, unfortunately not,” he replies sternly.

   “Oh. Okay, thank you Head Mage,” I sigh.

   He nods. “Anything else?”

   “No, goodbye.”

   I turn from him, leaving the room to wander back to my own. I struggle to deal with what I’ve just learned and find myself glancing around the dimly lit, barren walls.

   This is my life.

   Forever.

   Never to set foot off this small island that has been my home my entire life. Never to see Morhaven, all the wonderful cities and villages I’ve read about since I was a child. Never to experience real life – why learn about Magic if I can never use it? We’re taught how to defend ourselves, but with minor spells, more like illusions so that we can escape.

   We learn about the Earth, the ground beneath our feet. We learn how to care, nurture and love.

   But I find myself wanting more.

   I want action and excitement, something outside of these walls. I want the thrill, the chase – all the things I’ve only ever dreamed about, never thought about doing.

   All I know, in this one moment, is that I can’t do this.

   Suddenly, without any warning, my body jerks to a stop, turns and begins moving in the direction of Solomon’s room. I resist the urge to run to him, don’t want to draw any attention from other  Mages.

   I pause outside his door, conflicting emotions running riot inside of me. It’s wrong. Black Magic is evil – forbidden, not to mention dangerous. Not only if we’re caught, we’ll be sent to the Nox… but it’s a slippery road. I’ve heard stories of addiction to the darkness. Once you start, you never stop, until the Madness takes you.

   And yet I find myself wanting to risk it. I can’t stay here. Not for the rest of my pitiful life.

   I raise a hand and knock, crossing my arms over my chest and ignoring the way my stomach  jumps and my heart tugs painfully. He appears within a moment and pulls a face of mild surprise and amusement, almost as if he knew I’d come running.

   “And what do I owe this pleasure?” He asked with raised eyebrows, leaning against the doorway.

   “Move,” I growl and push past him, spinning around to find him shutting the door softly.

   “Well?” He asks and I hesitate for just one second, just one tiny second. Finally my mouth opens.

   “I’ll do it.”