Severus and the Frozen North

The Ceremony

April 2001

"Severus, please come. It is important for all of us" Minerva begged, coming all the way from Hogwarts to pressure him to attend the ceremony for the Order of Merlin.

He didn't deserve awards. He wasn't a hero. Certainly he saved Potter, but he killed someone. His closest confidante. Not out of malice, but it was still a death. Just war theory was no comfort to him when he awoke from the memory of Charity begging for her life. She would never know how deeply he regretted that. He barely escaped a prison sentence in Azkaban, he didn't need a reminder of what he had done.

He didn't need to be around those who treated him horribly for years only now to turn around and laud him as a savior.

Not to mention the fact that he still suffered flashbacks and panic attacks at the mere mention of Hogwarts or the former dark lord. Waking up bathed in sweat, certain he was having a heart attack. Knocked to his knees with intrusive thoughts. How could he withstand a whole ceremony? One in which he would have to make a speech? He wouldn't even know where to begin.

"Minerva, you don't understand what you're asking of me. I don't want to relive the worst years of my life... To be a spectacle...My pain is not a source of inspiration " he explained, trying to be patient but feeling the panic twist in his muscles

"Stand proud with your students. If not for yourself, for them" she tried another tactic, his loyalty

He bristled as he answered

"My whole life has been for them. Wouldn't you say it's my turn now? To live life for myself?"

"One more time. I know I shouldn't ask it of you. But please. Just come. For me. For Albus. Allow the world to see you for what you truly are. Just once. Then you can hide up here in this frigid tower for as long as you like" Minerva resorted to her last ditch effort, guilt and friendship.

It worked. He gave a loud sigh of resignation

"Fine. I'll be there. May I bring a guest?"

Her face brightened as she nodded happily.

One last act.

————
May 2001

"I have a proposition for you" he offered to Kora as she walked into the tower the next day

She arched her eyebrow, smirk softening her features.

Since that night in November, a wall had broken between them. They chatted more easily, comfortable around each other. There were no more huge revelations like when she admitted her marriage, but he didn't want to bring that up again. It was possible she didn't remember telling him.

Her presence was fuel to fire, demanding, and exacting. But so was he. They sharpened the other as much as they grated each other's nerves. He enjoyed coming to work and having breakfast with her as well as walking halfway home with her until their paths split. Sharing the weight of loneliness.

It was routine. Normal. Secure. Comfortable.

"That sounds dangerous. I see you brought my favorite muffins on the table. What do you want me to do? Murder someone?"

He took a deep breath, handing her a chocolate muffin as a diversion

"Glad to know you would commit murder for a muffin. No, truthfully, it is something maybe worse. I am to give a speech at the ceremony for the First Class Orders of Merlin. The ministry also wishes to award me...and others, with honors. Minerva guilted me into accepting...I would be very grateful if you would go as my guest so you could hate it alongside of me"