Let Her Go

Part 2

Soon enough I was in Paris, my place to escape to. I told Lindsey I was coming back and she was freaking out. I saw her waiting by the baggage claim for me.
"Tobin!" Lindsey screamed wrapping me in a bear hug.
"Lindsey!" I yelled back,"get off of me." I chuckled. "You're back earlier than I thought you would be. I figured you would at least visit your family and stuff ."She asked.
"I came to see you guys win dummy and it's a good thing I did." I laughed at the last part.
My phone rang again. That makes 11 missed calls from Alex.
"Tobin what's wrong?" She asked "is it Alex?"
I didn't answer her because she already knew the answer to that.
"You didn't tell her!" She said in disbelief, "you said you'd tell her when you first got back to the states!"
"I was going to! Trust me when I say I was going to! But as soon as I got off the plane she told me while I was gone Servando proposed to her." I calmly replied to her.
"I couldn't tell her Linds, I couldn't she was so happy like the happiest I've ever seen her. I couldn't ruin that for her. So I did what was best for her, I hid my feelings and put a smile on my face and told her how happy I was for her and how Servando is a great guy." I felt tears sting my eyes "He treats her like shit! And it's not fair!" I was yelling right now and tears started to roll down my face. "So I've been distancing myself from her. I finally realized she will never love me back and it hurts so so bad." I finished my little rant about her to Lindsey.
She pulled me into a hug and told me to help her grab my stuff and we'll go home. I went to bed early that night not wanting to talk about Alex anymore.
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It's been two days since I've flown into France without telling Alex. I was just hanging out in Lindsey's apartment that we used to share.
"Tobin you need to call her." Lindsey said throwing my phone at me.
"I don't want to." I said laying back down.
"Your going to lose her and that will hurt a lot worse than this." She said getting up and heading to the door. "I have practice in a few so I gotta go, you need to call her." And with that she left.
I picked up my phone and was about to press call but Alex had beat me to it. She is going to kill me.
"Hello?" I asked cautiously.
"Tobin Powell Heath where the hell have you been! You missed my bachelorette party! You didn't answer my calls all day! You can't go MIA on me, you're one of my bridesmaids you're supposed to be here with me!"
I held the phone away from my ear waiting for her rant to end.
"Tobin where are you at anyways?" She asked finally calming down.
"Paris."
"What the fuck are you doing in Paris?" she asked
"I came to see Lindsey and my other friends. And I needed to get out of the country for a bit."
"Tobin what's wrong with you. At first you stop hanging out with me. Then you stop answering my calls and text. Then you limit you interaction with me at the training camps, and when we shared a room we didn't spend any time together! I miss my best friend Tobin!"
There was that word. Bestfriend. I can't do this anymore.
"Alex are you done? Can I talk now?" I said slowly. There was no response so I took this as my cue to talk.
"Alex I've been hiding something from you for a while." I paused for a moment "Alexandra Patricia Morgan I am in love with you. Not the friendship love but head over heels in love with you. I thank god everyday for having you in my life! You make my day everyday and knowing that you will never love me the way I love you kills me. It absolutely kills me knowing you can't be mine and I can't wake up next to you every morning and tell you how much I love you. That's why I've been distancing myself from you. I didn't want to lose you. Do you even remember that night you kissed me? Or the words you said?" I had tears falling down my face.
The line was silent for what felt like forever.
"Alex please say something!"
"Tobin..... I'm sorry I'm so so sorry. But I can't. I just can't." I could hear her crying and it broke my heart knowing I did that.
"You can't what? love me back? I already knew that but answer my question."
She pauses and for a moment I thought she was going to hang up,"...Yes...but were you ever going to tell me?"
"I was when I got back from Paris but before I could tell you, you told me that Serv proposed to you. It broke my heart, but you were so happy I couldn't ruin that for you."
"Tobin I'm sorry."
"Dammit Alex I know!"
"Maybe you should stay in Paris for a while you know to clear your head."
"Is that your way of telling me you don't want me at the wedding?"
"No Tob-"
I cut her off "Have a nice life Alex I hope he makes you happy." those were the last words that left my mouth before I hung up.

Lindsey came back a few hours later with food in her arms. "Thanks for the help Tobin!" she yelled.

"Tobin? Tobin? Where are you?" She comes to the couch to see that I was sprawled out there. "You okay?" she asked.

"No, no, no you're not stupid at all. She's stupid because she doesn't see what she's missing, you are amazing Tobin you really are. You will find someone who will see that in you soon." She sighed pulling me into a hug. "Are you still going to go the wedding?"

"I honestly don't know anymore." I answered truthfully.