Missing || Yeosang / Ateez

07

Choi San

His world is breaking apart, all his hopes crushing slowly. His heart, he felt like it could stop for any moment. He gasped as he lifted his head on the water. No... He have to be strong... For his family... He can't let any of this break him...

He stared at his reflection in the mirror. He looked pathetic right now, he hated to see himself like this.

He could feel another set of tears roll down his face. He wish that he could cuddle wirh Yeosang right now, he wish that he could smell his scent, he wish he could have Yeosang grinning back at him.

"Sannie?" He could hear Wooyoung call out. He didn't want to answer but the desperate plead of the younger broke him into pieces.

"Please tell me..." San shook his head, as Wooyoung hugged him tightly.

"I... I couldn't do it, I just want Yeosang back... I hate this! I hate this so much!" San clawed on his skin, Wooyoung cried harder, forcing San's hand away from his body.

"Please don't... Yeosang... You promised to him that you won't do it again... You promised us... Please Sannie..." San cried into Wooyoung's arms, letting a set of screams of agony and pain.

Jongho rushed into the room and quickly pulled both his hyungs in his arms.
He held them tightly in his arms. San broke down even more, his heart aching for the happiness he once felt when he debuted.

"8 makes 1 team!" They cheered as they did the foot cheer, or whatever you call it. San felt happiness swell in his heart.

He finally debuted, he's going to be stuck with this guys for a whole ass years. San could finally be the person he wished to be. He is finally part of the family.

Looking back, San always clings to Yeosang, he favors him a lot. He looks up to him for accepting him for who he was and is.

He remembered the time Yeosang found San in such vulnerable state.

"San, I forgot to-" Yeosang stopped in his tracks. San looked up at Yeosang with wide eyes, he rushed to get a towel to hide his bloodied arms.

"H-hyung." San weakly smiled, Yeosang looked at him with an unknown emotion that it scared San. He could feel tears well up in his eyes. He was ready to hear the words, pathetic, weak, worthless. But Yeosang surprised him with the words that came out of his mouth.

"Let me help you clean that up, I won't just leave you like this." He silently picked the towel away from his arm. He quickly went to get a medicine kit to help him patch up his wounds. He didn't ask questions, he didn't judge him. He helped him with a comfortable silence covering them.

After Yeosang patched his arm, he silently brought the arm and kissed the bandaged area.

"Hyu... Hyung..." San is shocked but he easily got flustered when he saw Yeosang grin at him.

"Please, promise me you'll never do this again. Please... I don't  want to see you get hurt like this." Yeosang's grin faltered in a sad smile.

"We will always be here, we are all a family here. Don't be afraid to be who you are, don't be afraid to show what you want to show. No one will judge you here." He wiped San's tears away with his thumb.

"We love you San."

He opened up to everyone that day, Yeosang was right, everyone accepted right away and didn't treat him any differently.

He miss Yeosang so much... He wants to hear his comforting words, he wants to feel the warmth he brought when he is near. He miss him.