My Best Friend Is a Monster

Chapter one

Asami wasn't sure she would ever get used to her current situation, and despite popular belief being reborn in the Naruto world wasn't fun. At all.

Most fangirls had this ridiculous notion that it was fun living in a world where 80% of the shinobi population died before they turned twenty, and innocent people were killed just for being near a conflict zone and said fangirls would jump at the chance of becoming a shinobi.

No fucking thank you!

Asami was perfectly content with being a normal civilian and living her life away from those crazy ninjas!

So, to ensure her survival, she came up with three rules that she would follow.

Number one: if you are unable to avoid becoming a ninja (which she sure hoped wouldn't happen), fail every goddam class until you can't graduate.

Number two: Avoid the main characters at all costs.

Number three: if by any chance you find yourself in a situation that could result in your death, prioritize yourself at all costs.

If she had any say in the matter, she would be a normal civilian and maybe travel around the elemental nations. However, she soon found out that being an orphan meant that she was automatically enrolled in the academy, and thus her nightmare began.

"Stop it! I'm not going!"

The blonde girl was currently being dragged by the academy teacher, who was trying to get her to go to said building. (The caregivers at the orphanage were no match against her stubborn nature, grabby hands and strength, and so they were forced to call shinobi for back up. Traitors!)

"Asami! Stop it with this silly behaviour! You'll never be a ninja-like that!"

"Who said I wanted to?!" She demanded, like, seriously! Was her obvious refusal to attend the classes not clear enough concerning her intentions!?

Asami kept yelling at the poor Chunnin, who was just trying to do their job and did not cease her screaming until they arrived at the academy, where she reluctantly shut up and paid attention to class.

What? Just because she didn't want to be a shinobi doesn't mean she wouldn't pay attention to her lessons. Regardless of that fact she would rather stay far, far away from the horrors of the battlefield, you can never know what life will throw at you (such as being reincarnated into fucking Naruto! In Suna!) And she would prefer to know how to defend herself.

Of course, she would still try her damn hardest to fail by flunking every test that the academy gave her. Asami was determined to not die young. Not again.

And the safest course of action was to stay away from any and all main characters.

Why would she interfere? Asami knew that everything ended up okay in the end. There was the occasional pang of guilt that she felt for not even making a small amount of effort to stop the many heartbreaking deaths from happening, even if she's not in Konoha, but she pushed the feeling down easily enough.

The teacher droned on about the history of Sunagakure and the warring states period, and Asami listened on, intrigued. She was the only one who actually listened to these types of lessons, as the other five-year-olds found it extremely boring. A few were even asleep!

Bitterly, a part of she wondered how it was fine for them to sleep, but she was still forced to attend this cursed academy. She meant, sleeping through the classes and not attending were almost the same thing!

And so time went by. Every day her sensei would come to the orphanage and drag her down to school, every day she would pretend to be uninterested but secretly pay attention, every day she would walk back alone to the orphanage (having to be dragged to class constantly turned off the other parentless brats from socializing with her) and every day, she would fall asleep thinking about the people she left behind in her past life.