Lifeless life

CHAPTER 3

   I hated girls. Let's skip the fact that I'm a one; but honestly, girls are mean.

   So all my friends, or would I say my close classmates were all boys. I liked hanging out with boys, it's not because I wanted to be fucked, but it's more because they understood me and cared more that girls did. I'm not taking into count all the boys but some of them were more like brothers. I wasn't really emotionally involved, I mean I don't have a crush.

   I think I've never loved someone in my whole life, it's because I don't trust love or maybe I don't think that there is someone who could love me. I'm not really into these things. So whenever someone asked to date me I would always refuse saying that I don't date or saying that I'm not interested, which is the case.

   I had two close friends, Lee Hari and Kim Jay; they were my only friends, because even if I had made my rules people would always talk about me badly and no body considered me as a good person.

   I'm in a public school with students from different social classes and categories. So my two friends are both from very rich families, but not like me, they don't suffer from an abusive dad and an absent mom. But still we understand each other because they also have their own problems with their parents. I should never compare my Life to others; each Life is unique.

   As foreign student, people tend to think that I'm hot and sexy which is not the case; I figured out that boys made bets and dares about who will fuck me first, but I didn't buy it. K-dramas may give you a very innocent picture of students in Korea but actually all the boys have the same fantasies.

   But I suffered from a specific guy, he was very rich, too wealthy to buy the virginity of any girl he wants. He wasn't accepted in any private school, so public ones are his only solution; but still public schools are not easy too.

  Girls would fall forhim easily, they think he's handsome and hot more like a K-pop idol, but for me the picture didn't go well. My friends would protect me sometimes from his attempts to approach me and sometimes I would just send him one of my killing glares, but, unfortunately, he never dies.

   I would qualify my style as a comfy one, more like tomboy style. I like boys clothes they are more stylish and cozy. I prefer feeling comfortable than being ridiculous. I hate pink; you can say I may have a phobia from this color, as if it makes me nauseous or disgusted. Even though I respect people who love pink.

   I think that this style reflects more my personality than any other thing. I'm trying to be stronger and also I'm trying to show it through my outfits. I'm not saying that I don't wear skirts and dresses but it's occasionally. And what I like the most is that my Halmoni helps me choose my clothes which is so fun.

She always adds a little bit of pleasure in my life and that's what make it bearable.