loser (stenbrough)

Nine

    "I'm fucking sick of this."

    It was Mike who broke the silence. Everyone in my friend group was in a pretty crummy mood, even me. If anything, it was their moods that were bringing me down, since I didn't really have anything to be upset about. Mike got dumped by his girlfriend- for the third time in a row, might I add. Ben Hanscom, one of our newer friends,had to move schools next Tuesday, and Beverly Marsh had been acting distraught all day. She was the one who brought Ben along originally. Something was bothering her since this morning, and even though we offered to listen, she wouldn't speak of what happened. I decided she might just need some space, and the other guys took a hint and stopped bothering her as well.

    The rest of my friend group were some kids from the football team Mike got along with, and they lost their most recent game last Friday. It was a shitty time for all of them, really, but their whole attitude was kind of driving me crazy.

    "S-Stuh-Stan?"

    I jumped a little, not expecting someone to come up behind me. And that stutter, that voice... could only belong to one person.

    Turning to face him, my eyes locked with Bill's. He wasn't smiling, he had this nervous, unsettling look on his face... so I smiled for him, looking him up and down quickly. Bill looked really nice, not that he didn't the first time we met, but he was just... so cute today. He had something in his hands.

    He smiled back when I did, the unsettling look leaving his face almost immediately. "H-Hey. I texted you, a-ah-asking where you w-wuh-... were..." he stammered, looking at someone behind me for a second. I looked behind me, too, but nobody was there- just Mike, Beverly, the other football guys... Ben...

    Then it hit me, what if Bill figured out my plan? My plan to use Mike to get him to me? If he found out, it wouldn't be the worst thing... after all, I was trying to keep him safe from Henry that day. I didn't do anything wrong, either.

    "Oh, sorry Bill," I said, noticing his gaze focus back on me. "My phone's on silent. I'm always just, uh, here, though. In case you need me again," I said, trying to imply that he should hang out with me more often. These people were starting to wear me out, even if they were my friends... I gave him yet another smile, seeing as those seemed to work on him.
   
    He nodded, looking down at his feet. I did feel bad for him, having to talk in front of so many people with a stutter would probably make a kid really insecure.

    I didn't want to be rude, but he was taking a long time to speak. "Hey, so what was it that you needed?" I asked him, reaching out to nudge his side gently. He looked up, smiling sheepishly, as if he were embarrassed or something.

    "I-..." he paused, holding out the thing that was in his hands. It was my book- the bird book I carried around with me since fourth grade. My heart fluttered at Bill's nervousness, him being so shy over such a simple thing... it made me want to help him, hold him, even though I wasn't very motherly... fatherly?

    "You left it on F-Fuh-Fr-Friday," Bill explained, looking at me for approval. I took it into my own hands, staring down at Bill, grinning even wider than I was before. "Yeah. I was wondering where that was..." I chuckled to myself, slipping the book into my pocket so I wouldn't drop it or leave it somewhere again. At this point all of my friends were just watching the two of us, as if we were the most interesting thing that was happening at the moment.

    Bill nodded quickly, starting to fidget with his hands the second I took the book back. "S-Suh-So, I... w-wanted to k-kuh-kn-know if... y-you know, we could... like, h-hang out." He finished his sentence, looking horrified for a moment as he waited for my reaction. He then smiled, beaming that he managed to actually get it out. Maybe he was nervous about asking me in the first place? I knew I would be, if I were in his shoes.

    "Yeah," I said softly, a smile still on my face. It was awkward having all of my friends watch us, and the idea came to me that maybe Bill was nervous in the first place because of them, and not his secret little crush on me. That made me feel stupid, of course, but at least he was coming to me this time. That meant I wouldn't have to hunt him down anymore, right? No more cat and mouse games. "When and where?" I asked suddenly, noticing there was a pause in our conversation. He was either regretting asking me, or relishing in the fact that he did.

    "Um.." Bill said, looking down at my chest and squinting. "Off the tuh-top of my h-huh-head... the Aladdin, the p-puh-park, my house, the Kissing Bridge-" he started, looking up at me swiftly as he said that, a fearful look on his face. "D-Don't w-wuh-w-worry, we- don't have to kiss!" he assured me, heat coming to his face. It reminded me of the expression he made in the yearbook.

    I covered my mouth and burst into laughter, even if it was a little mean, I just couldn't help it. Bill was too cute, that look on his face was hilarious... I put my arm around his back, guiding him away from my group of friends. That would make talking a little easier for him, I hoped.

    We settled next to a flight of stairs, out of earshot from my friends. They could still see us. I looked back down at Bill, trying to resist the urge to laugh again. "So... not the park. There's nothing to do there," I said, trying to think what would be best. Bill's house... he seemed to slip that into his list pretty quickly. That meant he was nervous, that had to mean he was nervous. Did he want something to happen between us?

    "The Aladdin sounds good, if there's something you want to see," I suggested. It did sound like a date... and hell, if it was with Bill Denbrough, I'd pay for the whole thing.

    He smiled and poked me in the chest. "You go t-tuh-to the p-park all the time. Bird watching," Bill teased, he was becoming a lot more comfortable now that we were away from everyone else. Maybe it wasn't so much the nervousness that set him off, maybe it was just... agan, awkward.
   
    "Shh," I said back, his teasing making me smile even more. "We could meet at the Kissing Bridge. And... not kiss, like you said. Unless, you know, you want a change of plans-"

    I wasn't even sure what got into me. A change of plans? How did I know Bill wasn't going to out me as a fag to the entire school?

    Heat rose to his face again. He shoved me in the side lightly, as if we were both in on this and he was trying to keep me quiet. "Shut uppp," he whined, as if my statement implied I was making fun of him for what he'd said earlier. That was fine with me, let him think I was joking.

    "So, we meet at the Kissing Bridge and go to the Aladdin. Then we can go to your house, I'll stay if it isn't a school night. Or if you even want me to," I said, making our plans since Bill wasn't. Bill smiled, making me think we had the same idea in both of our heads.

    He nodded quickly. "Of course I w-wuh-wah-want you to... next F-Fuh-Friday?" he suggested, all of his embarrassment seemingly going away... he was stuttering a lot less now, I noticed that, too.

    I smiled and nodded back, confirming our plans. "We can meet there at... six. Deal?"

    "Yeah!" Bill exclaimed, adjusting his hold on his backpack. "Thanks for... talking to me," he said quietly, averting his eyes. Had someone been ignoring him recently? Or did he expect me to... ignore him? To not talk to him at all?

    "Hey, it's no problem, Bill," I reassured him, watching as he backed away.

    He bit his bottom lip, nodding once again. "Well, I've g-guh-gotta walk h-home now. I'll- I'll text you! Um, bye." The smile returned to his face before he turned and walked away. I leaned against the railing of the stairs, watching him fidget with his backpack straps and walk home, a stupid smile on my face. I just got a... date... with Bill. Even better, he came to me this time.

    Even better, I knew he wouldn't flake out.