Deep Among The Stars

The Bus Boy

As I make my way towards the bus, the anticipation makes my body hesitant. I contemplate just taking a taxi to resolve the uneasy feeling I have at the pit of my stomach.
Being the center of attention is something I never liked. Every time my father hosted his galas, I hated the fact that my dad brought me up on stage to give thanks to me for supporting him and inspiring him. Truly, I don't know what I did to deserve a father like him. Me inspire him? No, it's him that inspires me. My dad is the person I look up to the most. He's the person I trust most. And he is someone who I want to be just like.

After standing still for a few seconds I decide I need to get it over with and just go onto the bus. After all, would be I have to do the same thing tomorrow? I have to get it over write right now or else I'd never do it. Slowly, I approach the bus and make my way up the stairs. The bus driver is an old man who has a large warm smile.
"You must be new!" He say
"Yeah I am, here's my bus pass" I reply.
"Well welcome, I'm Bobby, I'll be the bus driver for this route so your stuck with me all year!" he laughs.
"Nice to meet you Bobby," I say. Already I can tell that he's the type of person who truly loves being around kids and no matter how old, kids always go to him for advice.

Slowly I make my way down the bus. I here the conversations going on between students as I walk down, but I don't fail to notice how as I walk by each row, the noise quiets down and I suddenly feel several pairs of eyes on me as I walk down. I gulp, unsure how to deal with the way my heart is beating up and down. I feel panicked inside. And to make matters worse, I see no empty seat. Great just great. Literally all the seats are packed full, some even squeezing in three people per seat.

I continue making my way down and I feel the blood rush to head. No, no why didn't I just let my driver take me to school. I feel myself having an anxiety attack and I can't deal with it. I try to calm myself down, looking in every direction to find an open seat. I feel the bus getting smaller and the stares getting stronger.
'Keep looking, just keep looking' I tell myself as I keep looking around. As I start to calm down, to my luck I find a seat that looks empty towards the back. I quickly walk to the back of the bus and as I approach the seat I see there is in fact a seat available, but the bench isn't entirely empty. In one of the seats is a boy. He is sitting on the edge of the bench, leaving the open seat next to the window. As I approach him, I see he is having a conversation and laughing loudly with who I assume are his friends. He continues to do so, not noticing me a few steps away from him. Once I reach him, I conjure up the nerve to speak.

"Excuse me, is that seat taken?" My voice shaking. He stops conversation and so do his friends, I feel pairs of eyes all on me, I'm sure wondering who the hell I am.

"No, it's not taken" he replies. Looking at me intently. The amount of relief I feel causes me to ease myself just a bit, though still anxious about what's to come.

"Great, do you mind if I sit here?" I ask, eager to take a seat and stop the amount of attention I'm drawling.
"Yes." He says abruptly

"Wow thank you so much" I says as I make my way to try to get into the seat. Suddenly his arm stops me from moving any further. He places his arm on the seat right in front of his so that it blocks my path from moving to the seat next to him I look up at him, confusion taking over my face.

"I said yes I mind, go find another seat." He says to me in a harsh tone. Typically I would feel embarrassed and overwhelmed. But the truth is I haven't felt much lately besides the panic attacks I get almost everyday."Well there isn't another seat, where else am I supposed to sit." I say matter of factly.

He chuckles to himself, giving me a look of pity, "figure it out, that's not my problem it's yours, if you really want to get a seat, you have to be here earlier" out of all the things I thought would happen, I honestly didn't think I would be going back and forth with a boy who seemingly won't let me take a seat next to him. As if i wanted to sit next to him anyways. The last empty seat just so happened to be the one right next to the one in which he occupied.

Standing there, staring straight in his eyes,