Him and Me

Him and Me-2

Jake

My head is spinning.

I cannot handle my life anymore.

Nothing is going as per the plan. I’m afraid god is playing a nice torture game with me.

How could she do that to me? I loved her. Damn it, I still love her.

-Flashback-

I stand there and look. Look at Amber. She’s looking utterly perfect. Like some angel fallen from the heaven. The white wedding dress is doing due justice to her beautiful face and body. I see her saying her vows of marriage and the man beside her looking so proud of her. She’s glowing from happiness.

She eyes me from her place. I can see a flicker of anger in her eyes. She hates me. I just know it.

But how couldn’t she? I’m a failure. Okay I’m not a literal failure, but I failed at keeping her happy. But I cannot bear to see her belonging to someone other than me.

What was I supposed to do? My mother or should I say the woman I used to call mother ran away to live with some other man. How could I bear my own mother running away from me? How could she do that to my father who is no longer in this world?

I’m pretty sure my father would be disappointed in her. Scratch it; I’m pretty sure my father is disappointed in me as well.

I wasn’t able to keep my family a tight-knit one. I wasn’t even able to keep the one girl I love, happy. Heck I am not even able to run the company that my father established through years and years of hard work.

I’m so disappointed in myself.

Maybe this is how my life is to end. Maybe god made an incredible mistake during writing the layout of my life.

But why me? Why only me?

I’ve decided to go. Get out of this house and go where my destiny takes me. I’m going to go to a place where no one would know me. Where I’ll be able to live a life of isolation. I’m going to think about the mistakes I made. Think through everything.

-Flashback over-

My thinking reverie is broken by chatter. Blah Blah Blah. She’s going on and on and on. Why the heck isn’t she shutting up? I think she’s taken up the task of increasing my pounding headache, if that is even possible.

I throw a few glares and frowns and mutter certain interesting words hoping she’ll understand my actions and give me my private space.

But NO!

She’s going on about some plans of hers, talking about her family, her life. Then I hear the word love.

She describes as if it’s the best feeling in the world.

I cannot tolerate another thing about how much she loves love, “Please shut up and leave me alone will you?” I say angrily.

This actually angers her finally, and a seed of hope is sown into me that she shall finally shut up. She starts scolding me. I cannot hear her words anymore. I am thinking about how my life used to be. The perfect life. Dad owned the Valentine Industries. We sure own them right now as well, but it is not the same as it used to be with my dad.

He was a legend. The best father, the best husband, the best industrialist. I would talk to him about all my problems, and he’d guide me through it. I wonder how much disappointed he’d be in me from up there.

“I cannot bear this life anymore”, I mumble.

I rush towards the train door. I try to open it but to no avail.