The Magic in Your Song(Trixya)

Chapter 29:Katya

Katya's POV

I did it. I called Trixie while I was in the different of a panic attack/ mental breakdown. I had no idea if I hated myself for it though. I thought she would have hated me, because I left for no reason. But she answer my call and helped me so she couldn't hate me. Right? "Don't do it Katya, this is what made you freak out in the first place." I stood up from the floor and walked downstairs to the kitchen. I turned on my coffee maker and leaned against the counter. I knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep anyway so a cup of coffee wouldn't hurt any. I put down the mug in my hand as I heard the door bell. I knew it was Trixie, no one else would be here this late. I walked to the front door and opened it. I was overcome with panic when I looked at Trixie. She was standing on my front door step, sleep dripping from her eyes. "Hi."

"Hey Katya." I stepped aside to let Trixie in. She walked inside without a word. She didn't have an overnight bag with her so I wondered if she was actually mad at me.

"I'm making coffee, you want some?"

"No I'm fine, but should you really be having coffee at 3 in the morning?"

"I'm not gonna sleep tonight anyway." Trixie smiled and shook her head. I walked in the kitchen and fixed my coffee, Trixie followed behind me. After making myself a cup of coffee, Trixie and I walked upstairs to my bedroom.

Trixie hadn't left my side ever since she had gotten here. She left once and that was to get her laptop. She worked on her laptop while I read a Russian novel. "Katya, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"No, I mean actually okay."

"Oh, well maybe. I don't know."

"What caused it?"

"My over thinking."

"About?"

"Want me to be honest?"

"Yes."

"Us." Trixie was silent but she was staring at me, so I knew that she wanted me to explain. I took a deep breathe and smiled. "I've never been in love before, like what the fuck are feelings. Like I don't know what I'm gonna do, I was crying because I do love you. I don't want to though."

"You don't want to love me?"

"I do but at the same time, I don't. I want to say no, because I hurt everyone that loves me. I don't want to hurt you, I would hate myself if I hurt you in any way."

"Katya, I don't think you'd hurt me. And if you did that is just what happens sometimes. That is all part of having a relationship. Don't beat yourself up love." Trixie grabbed my hand and held it as she looked at me. "If you want to try then let's go for it, but if you don't then we can be friends like we are now. But know that if we do try and breakup, I won't hate you or anything." All I could was stare at Trixie. She was like a dream that broke up my land of nightmares. A dream that brought light and peace to my ever darkening world.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Trixie?"

"Yeah?"

"I do want to try."

"Then we can. Nothing is stopping us."

"I guess not huh?" I smiled at Trixie as she held my hand in her lap. "Trixie?"

"Hmm?"

"That song you sang for me, where'd you hear it?"

"Oh, um I just kinda came up with that. I wanted to help you and it just kinda just popped in my head as I played my guitar."

"It was cute." Trixie rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Thanks Katya, but I was just happy to help you. That is all that matters to me."

"You make me sound like some treasure."

"To me you are. So, we still have to have our first date."

"How about we go downstairs and make a shit ton of snacks and rent movies as our first date?"

"That sounds good to me."

"Okay let's go." Trixie closed her laptop and crawled off of my bed. Trixie and I walked downstairs to the kitchen. Trixie jumped on the counter and smiled at me. "You never help."

"Because you look amazing when you cook and I don't wanna get in the way."

"Uh huh sure, keep telling yourself that." Trixie pulled me in between her legs, hugging me. "Trixie, why do you always do this? You want something but you stop me from making it."

"I can't help it if I always want to hug you."

"Yeah and you tell everyone you're not a hugger."

"Shut up."

"How about you make me?" I rolled my eyes and kissed Trixie. She let herself sink into my touch. I slowly pulled away as I smiled.

"That worked?"

"It worked."

"Good, now I'm going back to making snacks."

"Why do we always do this?"

"Do what?"

"Stay up so late then eat like it's the middle of the afternoon."

"Well, it is just our routine."

"A routine that will make us get wrinkles at an early age."

"Why are you so sassy?"

"Who wouldn't I be if I wasn't?"

"The barbie doll you've always wanted to be?"

"Ha, fat chance. I'm gonna go find some movies for us to watch." I watched as Trixie jumped off of the counter and walked out of the kitchen. Trixie handled what I told her really well and I think I loved her more because of it. She was nothing short of perfect. Was that scary? Hell yes. But did I still want it all? Fuck yes.