Life as a prebuscent tuba

Have you ever woken up and you just feel like eating waffles? And then you finally manage to get your waffle eating ass out of bed and get some blueberry waffles with ketchup. But then you notice your mom hates you & uses the last bit of ketchup for her coffee.

Anyways.. I had to go to school that morning with my ketchupless waffles( yes I'm still pissed about that ) and to make it all worse it turns out that some dip shit thought it would be funny to set a bunch of my crias on fire... (Cria means baby llama. Don't believe me look it up..)

When I finally got to school I went to go to my friends at the table, Yes you guessed it..my friends are llamas. . We all decided to skip school and go watch the new movie "that's so raven 2". But of course Shelly stayed at school because she hates walking.

Okay.. So here we are watching that's so raven & would you know it, Zack & Penelope are sitting next to me having sex like they do every damn movie we see.. They're not doing it quietly either.. I swear at one point Penelope started having an asthma attack but Zack didn't even care so he continued.. I think she's dead now.. I don't care..

I'M STILL PISSED AT MY MOM BY THE WAY!!! I mean why couldn't she just used mayonnaise?!!! Fuck mom..

Well the movie rocked.. In the end Raven and Orlando hook up & having a sex scene at the end. Which is odd because it was rated G?

Well it was 1:14 so we decided to eat at the all you can buffet Chinese place that has nothing but butchered cow dick & eggs.. But it was what Trista wanted.. Fucking bitch..

I ended up ordering a medium rare cow dick with a side of oyster fingers and I'm not gonna lie.. It was actually good. I think Zack & Penelope are still at the theater? I wonder if she really was dead? That asthma attack sounded serious.. Do llamas even get asthma? I don't know.. She's hot though..

Fucking Larry saw us walking back to school to catch the bus & told on us so now we all have detention for 11 minutes after school today.. God I hate Larry.. If you read my previous book you'd know why.. He's so god damn stupid.. I love him..

Now that I realize it I had another bottle of ketchup under my bed.. Sorry mom.. I love you <3

Well detention is over.. The only good part was that the teacher was hot. She had more wrinkles then a Korean walrus & she sure knew how to work them.. Well, my mom just picked up & she was yelling at me for not skipping school, but for being ugly..... She can be so critical I swear..

I just got home & I took of my llama coat (I'm not even a llama by the way..)

Turns out.. I didn't even eat waffles. I had the left side of the oven.. I don't even like waffles?

Well I shall conclude this message saying.. For all those llamas out there who are considering skipping school.. Do it.. It's fun.. Except if Zack & Penelope are there.. Fucking bitches..

P.S. Larry you suck..

P.S.S. I love you Larry.. <3

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now go die..