November 14th 2013
/Lukes pov
I saw them together today. He was smiling. laughing. I wondered if i made him laugh like that. I watched their mouths move, the only words i could make out was 'i love you'.
I look down, quickly walking away. Hurt was all i felt. He was supposed to love me. We were supposed to be forever.. i wish i didnt fuck things up. I wish i wasnt a fuck up.
A tear falls down my face and i dont bother to wipe it. I walk weakly, praying that this would all just end.
I arrived at a park around 7 minutes later and saw that it was empty. The wind whipped around and i hugged the hoodie. Ashtons hoodie closer to me.
It still had his scent, it was only faint but it was enough for me to bear with. i sat on one of the swings, hiding my my nose in the hoodie and took a deep breath.
His smell surrounded me along with all the memories. All the cuddles, kisses, hugs, talks. All of it came back, but only temporarily.
These were the things that got to me. Just knowing that i will never be the one to make him laugh, hold him, act stupid with and randomly say i love you to.
I close my eyes for a moment. 'Deep breath in, and out. There ya go, Lukey'
His voice echoed in my mind, bouncing off every wall in my head. "Forever, Lukey? " he smiled widely as i nod softly and presses my lips to his, whispering "Forever, Ashy"
Light whimpers escape my lips, as do tears. The sky begins to darken and i slowly start to walk home. I arrive minutes later and walk in the quiet house.
Flipping on the light switch, i look around. So many memories were made here. I glance at the front room window, smiling gently as i remember my birthday.
I stayed looking out the window, waiting for Ashton to come. I sat eating ice creaming, watching out the window. Harry and Niall try and pull me away and i whine, staying there. I huff as i run out of ice cream and go to get more. Ashton's hoodie that he left from before was on and the sleeves went over my hands.
I let out a loud squeak as someone whispers in my ear "That hoodie looks a lot better on you, than it does me" a slow smile spreads on my face and i lean into him "Ashyy!!"
He laughs lightly "happy birthday, lukey"
Tears fall fast as the memory replays in my mind. I trudge up the stairs to my room and open the door.
I dont bother to take off my clothes and i crawl in bed, whimpering. I hug the hoodie closer, i hug his pillow closer, just so i can feel okay.
Throughout the night i cry, sleep not coming my way at all. My thoughts are filled with him, nobody else.
