Wilting Iris

1

The rain is starting to soak through my clothes, I can feel my sleeves sticking to my arms. I should probably take cover somewhere and see if James will pick me up, but i don't, I just keep walking. My mind is spinning like a top; I can barley wrap my head around what just happened. 

Kyle told me he loved me less than twenty four hours ago; he was holding me tightly like he always does in the early morning before work and he said that he loved me. Finding out his deep secret, the one he somehow managed to keep from me for three years... I don't think I've ever been more humiliated. In one night my entire world shifted, I went from living with the man i loved to being heartbroken and homeless. 

The wind is starting to pick up and the rain is coming down harder than ever; there's a bus shelter up ahead that I cant take shelter in and call James. I pull my hood up over my face and keep moving towards the shelter picking up my pace. All of the sudden I see bright lights on the pavement and i jump out of the way; the truck blares its horn at me, serves me right for wandering into the middle of the road. I know these shelters aren't heated but away from the rain and the wind it sure feels like it is. I unzip my hoodie to grab my purse hopefully the inside of my hoodie kept my purse dry enough to protect my wallet and phone. I root around in my purse so crammed full I can't find anything in there, and of course my phone is all the way at the bottom. 

"Hello?" I hear James say, his voice filled with sleep.

"Hey James, it's Iris can you come pick me up?" I can feel tears starting to build, and I know he can hear them in my voice. 

"Of course I'll come pick you up, where are you?" The concern in his voice is almost enough to make me finally start crying.

"I'm somewhere near... um... you know what I'll just text you a pin OK? I can't even see the street signs in this rain." I don't know what to call it, is it still my home? Is it Kyle's place now?

"OK I'll be right there. Stay Safe." 

"OK bye," I press the hang up button and stare at my phone for who knows how long before I remember that I'm supposed to send him my current location. 

When James pulls up I can feel the loneliness lift, that's what happens when you have the same best friend for twenty years. He rolls down the window so that i can open the door from the inside, the outside handle stopped working after someone tried to break into the car last March. I remember the day James bought this car, his uncle's neighbor was selling it for a steal cause he was moving to the other side of the world to be with his boyfriend. It barely ran, there were holes in the seats and the floor, and the heater didn't work; but it was impossible to break into and had rainbow dash lights so James was sold. He spent 2 years slowly rebuilding the engine and replacing the interior, now, the car looks like a giant rust bucket on the outside but it can outstrip any other car in this city.

"So, are you just going to stare out the window or are you going to tell me what happened?" It is so like James to try and make me laugh when he knows I want to curl up in a ball and die.

"I found out that Kyle is married and all those business trips he takes are actually him going home to his wife," it all comes tumbling out of my mouth before I even have time to prepare myself to say it. Kyle is married. The reality suddenly hits me like a sack of bricks; the man I though I was going to marry is already married to someone else.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" James yells. "That's it we are going back there and I am kicking this guys ass!"

"No! James I really don't want to go anywhere near there right now I just want to have a smoke and a drink," I give him my best 'please take care of me look'.

 "Alright fine lets go back to my place, you're staying with me tonight," he knows I need him to help me more than I need him to hurt Kyle. 

James is probably the luckiest out of all of us honestly, he got a great job right after school and invested in himself by buying a house right away. The fact that he has is own house is the reason he throws all of our parties and the reason our friends from out of town can visit so often. People crash on his couch all the time, but I never do I always go home; Kyle used to get mad if I spent the night anywhere other than home or my parents house. I sit down on the couch and pull my knees up to my chest, the last 6 hours are flying through my mind; coming home to Kyle in the shower, cuddling on the couch, someone pounding on the door, a vase flying across the living room, slamming the door behind me, sitting on the curb sobbing, and the rain so much rain.

"I assumed you want a tequila sunrise?" James breaks me out of my trance by handing me a tall glass.

"Yes please, thank you," I take the drink from him. I watch him as he packs us a bowl and I let my mind wander again. 

"Oh my God James! Get down from there you're going  to kill yourself!" I cried up at him. "My dad says that tree is super sick and can't hold us anymore!"

"Will you relax I'll be fine!" He shouted back at me from the top of the massive oak that was in my backyard.

"James please you're climbing way too high! Please come down before you get hurt!" Tears were welling up in my eyes and I begged again for him to climb down, "James please you're my best friend I don't want you to die!"

"Alright I'll come down but only cause you asked so nicely," he started to climb down and when he was almost at the bottom I heard a sickening crack and James fell to the ground.

I'm so lost in my memories that I don't realize that James is standing right in front of me with the the pipe in his hand. "Are you OK?" He asks me.

"Yeah I'm fine, I was just thinking... Do you remember that time you broke your arm when we were kids?"

"Yeah I do I also seem to remember a fat I told you so filling the hospital room," he laughs.

"Well I did tell you not to climb that tree so you deserved an I told you so." the smile on my lips feels so foreign; how long has it been since I felt truly happy? I can't even remember. "I'll take the first hoot?" I phrase it like a question even though I know full well he intended to give me the first one anyways.

"Yeah of course," he passes me the pipe and our fingers touch for just the smallest moment. 

"Hey you know what we need to go with this bowl?" 

"What?"

"Shots!" I smile at him because I know that he won't say no.

"I'll go get the bottle," he sighs knowing exactly how tonight is going to go. I grab the remote and go to our favorite soapy drama show, let the drinking games begin.