Tonight I saw someone that looked like you, I thought it was, it might of actually been you. But how would I know? I don't know you anymore. For fucks sake I don't think I ever did. Even when I "knew" you, you kept yourself as distant as possible, yet allowed me to believe that our friendship existed at all. I thought I was getting better, but now I'm seeing that I'm not. Not even close. I caught a glimpse of someone that looked like you and I stopped talking to (redacted friend name) mid sentence, dropped the pieces of popcorn in my hands, and was forced to hide the tears forming in my eyes, the cry that was jumping out of my throat. I wish things were different. In any way. Whether it be that we could talk and sort everything out. That you and I could forgive each other. Sometimes I wished things went the way I always wanted, with you and I together, but that would be wrong now, I can see it. We aren't the kind of people to be with each other. I can't give you what you need. And you could never have the patience for my disabilities, illness, and brokenness. And it would be wrong of anyone to expect such a burden to be placed upon you. Our ways of life aren't exactly complementary either. My life involves pain from the closest of people that are meant to love me, and you have love from everyone in your life. Neither of us can handle that change. So instead I would prefer a different part of our life to change in how things "turned out". When I was asked about whether or not I'd like to meet you, I guess you could put it like that, if I had the chance to re live that part of my life I think I may decline, especially knowing what I do now. If I can't make you happy, I'd rather not being around, but now I know that it's more than just not making you happy. I'm a negative contribution to your life, so like I said before, I wish we never met. It would be the only way I could ensure to never hurt you so much. I hope that you have forgotten about me. Could you promise me that you will try to forget me?
