The Unworthy

Where They Go

The day I found out I was going to be a big sister was the worst day of my life. Growing up, I had always been jealous of the other kids who always had a brother or sister to play with, until I found out why one of them would always seem to disappear inevitably.

My daddy is my best friend. He adopted me when very few people would even consider, including his wife, Jan. The day I asked him why my friends seemed to always suddenly stop showing up to play with me was the day his words failed us both. He loves the idea of words and communicating, but he lost all knowledge of them when I finally asked him about what has been subconsciously bothering me from a young age. Seeing your friend every day for years, and then suddenly not is beyond confusing. Especially when you're not told where they go.

After several hours of silence, he finally had chosen what words he felt were appropriate to use in the conversation that would change my life.

"When your friends stop showing up, it means they weren't chosen Mae. We have a responsibility to fix what we did to the Earth, and that means that certain rules had to be put in place to make this possible. Remember how I told you about there being too many people and not enough resources?" I shook my head yes. Everyone knew about this. The first thing we are taught is why we aren't allowed Outside.

When the world overcrowded, it set off a chain of unstoppable reactions. Entire species suddenly became extinct. The air and water became so polluted that the atmosphere began to fight back. Suddenly, the entire planet was warming up. Huge storms and devastating natural disasters became an almost weekly occurrence. Nations went to war with each other because simply put, no one could agree with anyone. Soon, not only were more than half the living population of animals and plant life destroyed, but over eighty percent of the human population had perished due to everything from starvation to disease to the destructive hand of other humans.

"A new law was put into place to keep this event from ever happening again. A lot of people find it unfair, but it is something we must live with as a consequence of our past actions." This is where he hesitated, fumbling for the right words to carefully explain what he was going to say next.

"Does it have to do with why my friends keep leaving Daddy?" I knew there was something wrong in the way he held himself. His lips were pulled tightly, fingers rubbing each other intensely like when he gets nervous. He merely nodded his head yes in shame.

"It is recommended to only have one child per household, like with our family. This will keep the population from exploding. However, as we try to rebuild the world as it used to be, some people rallied to be able to choose to have two in order to select the child who will be a benefit to our community the most. In these cases, they have until the first child turns sixteen to pick who they want to continue to live in the community, and who they choose to send away.

"Those who are deemed unworthy are either adopted on rare occasions, or are sent to the Camp where their bodies are said to be preserved until the world has enough resources to take the children back in. That is where your friends are; they are merely sleeping for the moment until we can bring them back. You are one of the special cases, Mae. We chose to adopt you so you don't have to worry about a thing."

I was eight years old when I learned why the world around me always seemed a little off. After that eye-opening conversation, I started noticing other strange things that I had chosen to avoid thinking about.

Like how I never understood the constant competitions that were held almost weekly in our town, I just knew how jealous I was because I wasn't allowed to compete.

Like the comments to Jan and dad saying they are wasting the ability to have another child that could be of more value than me.

Like why dad always told Jan that she couldn't have a kid. And why she chose to take that anger and frustration out on me.

After that conversation, the world made just a little more sense.  

The day I found out I was going to be a big sister, I turned fifteen years old.