The Unworthy

The Gift

Today marks my fifteenth birthday and that means I will get a new book to add to my collection. I own titles from "A Tale of Two Cities" to my favorite "Black Beauty" book. My dad constantly reminds me how I'm going to be the most intelligent child that anyone in our city would be blessed to have. He has allowed my love for reading to grow and he regularly nourishes my hunger for new material whenever possible. It is rare and difficult to come across reading material after our ancestors nearly destroyed everything that once was, yet him and John were always searching. John is my dad's very best friend. They grew up on the same street and have been inseparable. Sometimes, Jan even jokes around that she is dad's cover up and that he's really married to John. I wouldn't blame him if she actually was a cover up though, his friend is a lot more pleasant to be around. Together, they have managed to create quite the collection of books for me. I had about twelve books hidden away in my closet by the time I turned ten, and todays addition would make my small book shelf full at twenty-two novels.

It would be very coincidental if John actually picked up my birthday gift on today's run; I truly believe that he found it weeks, maybe months ago and has waited until my birthday so that I would have something to open. Findings such as books are difficult to come by, especially in salvageable condition.

The beating in my heart quickens as I am handed the gift. It weighs down my weak hands, letting me know that it will entertain me for many days to come with its thickness. As the thin layer of tissue paper is peeled back, the title "To Kill a Mockingbird" is unveiled.

"What is it about Daddy?" He always answers the same way every time I ask this question, but this seems like a more advanced read so I ask any way hoping to receive a little help.

"You'll have to read it and figure out for yourself. If I just tell you my interpretation of it, you'll never learn to think as an individual. Reading is meant to be thought provoking, so when you finish up with it then we'll discuss it." His kind and love filled eyes assure me that I will be able to conquer the book I was handed, and excitement flutters my chest.

Looking at the two of us, it would be hard to distinguish if I am actually his daughter or not. We both have dark chestnut colored hair, almost the color of the cup of coffee that he drinks every morning. Our skin is prone to tanning after just a day in the summer sun. The only difference is where his eyes are the color of an evergreen tree and mine resemble more of a rainy sky.

Jan is nearly the complete opposite of us both. She stands maybe an inch shorter than my dad with vibrantly blonde hair. Her eyes are a dark blue, more resembling my own than his and her skin burns rather than tans. When I was about two, I was given a blonde barbie doll to play with after John found it on one of his runs and she reminds me closely of it. Any time I ask her to help me with a word in a book, or anything for that matter, she is quick to remind me that she didn't choose to be stuck answering my millions of questions. Dad always helps me though, even when I'm in a very tough place while reading and have to ask what entire sentences mean. He is the good and she is far from it.

"Thank you John! Oh, I can't wait to read it!" It's been quite a minute since I have had a new book to read. Looking at it, I begin to wonder who the previous owner was and what happened to them. The pages look well flipped through and there are a few comments written in a light grey pencil throughout. The cover is a bit water-stained and worn, but so are most of the other novels on my shelf. 

"You still have a card on the table to open Mae, don't be rude." A smirk crosses Jan's face as she hands me the neatly addressed envelope. Trying to search my mind, I can't remember a single time she has given me anything on any occasion. As I glance at dad, I notice that he is also caught off guard; this must be a surprise to us both. He gives me a nod of approval to open the card knowing that I looked to him for guidance.

Slowly peeling the flap back on the envelope, I notice that the card inside does not say 'Happy Birthday' but rather 'Congratulations!' Glancing up, it is evident that everyone else in the room is just as confused as I am; all except Jan.

"Go on, read it out loud and show John and Andy how well you can read." She never wants me to show off anything I can do. My mind immediately goes into panic mode and I freeze up. I feel the envelope being pulled from my hand and watch as she impatiently pulls the card the rest of the way out and hands it back to me. No one else looks too panicked so I flip open the front cover and begin to read:

"Happy Birthday Mae. It has been quite a journey these past fifteen years watching you grow. These past couple months however, I have had something growing in me. I wanted you to be the first person to know that your going to be a big sister! Congratulations and may you always be as smart as you make everyone think you are!"

I wonder if she knows she used the incorrect form of 'you are'...