The Man In The Midnight Blue Suit

Chapter Six

The library was this giant room where your voice echoed through the shelves. Between the ceiling high bookshelves, the sturdy oak tables and leather couches, there was a window seat. Along the wall, in a position where I could see everything, apart what was hidden by shelves, at a tall, wide window, was where I sat. Adorned with cushions, the seat looked over the always immaculate gardens. That seat has become my spot. Whenever Jonathan drags me in here, I always curl up on the seat, looking out at the perfect gardens. Sometimes I find the gardens too perfect. I want to get out there one day, create a fault in the fairy-tale image. Although, I had a feeling the next day they'd be back to their original, perfect state.

I sat in that seat now, curled up with my arms around my knees, pretending I could shield myself from everything that was happening. It's gotten too much for me – after seeing Lucian my head was spinning. It couldn't be real, what he told me. Nothing of this was real. It was all a dream. A crazy, crazy, dream.

Only that it wasn't.

Once Lucian had left, I couldn't stand another second anywhere near that midnight blue study. The curtains, the couches, even Lucian's annoyingly tidy suit was nearly sending me over the edge. So I had come here, to the only place that could be remotely comforting in this fallacious mansion. I needed to be alone, to try and find something that made sense in this wild mess.

A noise to my right made me turn. Jonathan had finally made an appearance. He seemed to know that I had met Lucian. What little trust I had in Jonathan was gone. He was just another thing that confused me now.

He walked slowly over to the window seat. I watched him as he sat down across from me and gazed out at the gardens. His face was unreadable – I couldn't tell whether he was mad at me or just sad. It nearly broke my heart, to see my brother like this. After what Lucian had told me... I couldn't help but hurt for him.

"Jonathan..." I begin, my tone apologetic. He turns to stare at me and I cannot continue. His eyes are broken and hurt. His sadness brings out lines of worry in his face that I'd never noticed before. I want to look away and spare myself from his depressing gaze, but his eyes refuse to let me escape.

Jonathan sighs and looks down at his hands. "I don't know what's wrong with me." He says softly, his fists clenching. "I know I can do it. What they can. But whenever I try, it's like..." His voice falters. Lucian didn't tell me everything about Jonathan – I know now. The only truths I do know are hidden among lies.

"I was so excited for you to get here," Jonathan says. "I thought that maybe... maybe things would change, once my sister arrived. They've only got worse."
"Jonathan," I say, slowly. Talking to Jonathan is like treading on thin ice. I feel that he could crack at any moment. "What things?"
"The Man – Lucian, as I'm sure you know him now – He told me, that if I could keep you occupied, just for a few weeks... I could tell you a twisted version of the truth, he said. I would be the only one you saw, and only for a few weeks..." Jonathan looks up from his hands, staring at me intensely. "I'm sorry, Casey. For not telling you the truth. What he offered me... It was a second chance! I couldn't refuse, not after what I'd been through." Jonathan hesitates. He leans in closer, lowering his voice. "He's not who he says he is. Lucian. You can't trust him." He cast a sharp look over his shoulder. He turns back to face me, and in his gaze I see fear. Fear, and truth.
"Only trust what you know to be true, Casey." Jonathan leans back and looks around. Who does he possibly think could be listening? We're the only ones here. I need to ask him what he means. Abruptly, Jonathan gets up and briskly walks across the library. He stops at the doorway and looks back at me, his expression tainted with remorse. Then he leaves, without another word.

I wrap my arms tighter around my knees. I don't know what Jonathan means by all this. Now, I'm sure that what Lucian told me can't be the whole truth. But it's not necessarily lies either.

Unanswered questions float around me. I think that I should take Jonathan's advice – ironic as it is, coming from the person who first fed me lies. I can't trust anything about this place. There's so much I don't understand. I don't know how much longer I can take this. This feeling of not knowing.

The familiar finger of fear tickles my stomach. I can't help but be afraid. Nothing has made sense ever since I woke up in that bedroom. I take a deep breath to steady myself. If I ever want to get home or find out the truth about anything, I have to be brave. I can't falter and hide now. Tomorrow, there is something coming. Tomorrow, I will learn more, though I don't know how. Lucian has something in mind for me, I'm sure of it. His words echo in my head, sending a nervous shiver down my spine.

"Beprepared..."