Sheltered≫ {h.s}

Chapter 8

Chapter eight.

"I have everything in life that I want, but nothing seems to satisfy my needs"

Carter

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I sat there for a while in my thoughts after reading the note or letter from Harry. What is my addiction? Is it the pain covering the pain when I run my fingernails down my legs in frustration? Is it the amount I draw to cover the things I really feel? Or is my one true addiction not only feeling real but the need to feel real? I guess when you sit there in your thoughts long enough and you can't begin to fathom an answer you just give up. But I couldn't I needed an answer for Harry and from Harry.

I tip toe across the hall and push open the door.

"Harry?"

"Carter?"

"I just read this." I say holding the paper up.

"Mhm." He nods.

"I need closure. Why? Why is alcohol your addiction when there's so many other alternatives? Reading? Writing? Drawing? For Gods sake you could be addicted to something weird and it would be better than alcohol." I rant.

"Carter what's your addiction?" He misses my question walking closer.

"I-i dont I dont know." I stammer.

"I'm starting to believe your addiction is being someone you dont wanna be. Your addiction is making other people happy. Trust me alcohol is an amazing alternative for something like that." He leans in, "Because trust me Carter trying to make everyone happy only leads to disappointment in yourself. You dont have to always be happy and you cant always give your happiness away. To be happy is rare."

"Happiness is limited not rare Harry." I breathe.

"It's rare if you keep giving it away." His lips inches from mine.

"But-" He cuts me off.

"Not this time Carter Lane." He smirks pressing his lips against mine in a heavenly way.

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Harry

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"Carter you missed the entire point in that poem." I laugh.

"I understand the whole being real part. I do. But-" I stop her.

"No carter you dont. Being real is knowing who you are but not knowing where your going with yourself. No-one knows where they are gonna be in five years except you. You've been sheltered your whole life by a family that expects the best. You are always gonna provide the best because its what you do. But Carter Lane dont you ever get tired of being someone your not? I can see it in your eyes you know? I know your not what people expect. You've got a very bad mouth on you but you do the kindest gestures which cover the bad words up. Who is the real you Carter Lane?"

"I'm not always kind." She looks down. "And I dont know who I am Harry."

"I know exactly who you are and its no-one like you are now. You're an incredibly complex person I've known that since I first met you in the seventh grade. Its taken me a while to figure you out and havent completely finished figuring you out yet but I've started." He pauses. "Tell me Carter why was it that all of those times you were invited to go places you wouldn't? Why did you not hang out with people when they clearly adored you? What stopped you from living like a normal teenage girl?"