TAKE MY HAND

3

DEAN

Cassie has a tendency to do things without thinking. We've had countless animals brought home for the sole reason that they 'looked cold'. But I always have to be the stern one. The one who brings her back to reality. Except almost always, the reality isn't what she wants.

Her eyes started producing tears like they had to meet a deadline as soon as I said the words. I didn't care anymore, the reality hadn't hit me yet.

"Dean, stop it. Just stay tonight and we'll talk in the morning," She whimpers, sitting in the center of the bed with her legs crossed. I make my way through the room, scooping anything important into my bag with zero intention of bringing it back. We've been too empty for too long, a hallow shell of what our relationship was in the beginning.

"It's too late for that, Cass. We want different things," I sigh, folding my clothes neatly into the bag- a skill taught to me by Cassie.

"Th-Then we won't have them and we won't get married. I'm okay with that," She nods quickly, tears seeming to fly from her cheeks. I look at her sadly.

"We'd just end up falling apart. I'm not worth that trouble. We're barely a couple anymore," I murmur. I don't dare look at her, knowing everything I want now would surrender.

People tell you to marry your best friend. To find someone you can laugh with. But I don't think it applies when you accidentally fall in love with your best friend junior year. You don't love them enough to be happy. But you love them enough to stay and not break them. Eventually it's going to fall apart.

She releases a quiet sob and looks at her fingers crossed neatly in her lap. This would be easier if I was a complete monster. I could rip out her heart and leave and have a good fuck and all would be well. But unfortunately I have just enough soul to make things harder for both of us.

"What about Rex?" She asks quietly. I pause and look down at the fluffy lump sitting next to my feet.

"You should keep him," I say, stepping away from him and shoving more into my bag.

"Why?" She whispers, her eyebrows furrowing in the center.

"He was always your dog."

"He was ours."

"Cass, stop. He's getting older anyways, I don't want to move him."

"Then don't leave," She pleads, sitting up on her knees.

"Except I am. You love him more than I could love anything. He wouldn't be happy with me. Neither of you would."

"I am happy with you, D."

I close my eyes and drop my bag, tears welling up again. Cassie senses my moment of hesitation and slides off the bed, sniffing quietly. Her arms slide around my waist from behind and she presses her face into my shoulder blade.

"I need you, Dean," She murmurs into my shirt. I choke back more tears and reach and take her wrists and pull them off me.

"Cassie stop. We're never going to be what we were. Be a grown up for a second," I tell her, tears falling over my cheeks. She reaches back and holds my shirt in a vice grip.

"No, you're not gonna leave me here like this. We love each other. I love you. Stay," She cries weakly, coming out from behind me and blocks me from going anywhere.

I take a moment to memorize her. With her light blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. And her nails painted purple. And her wide eyes still shining even when she's breaking.

I lean down and kiss her forehead. I hold her cheek gently and wipe a tear away.

"Please, Dean," She whimpers.

"I love you, Cass," I sigh, moving past her. I don't bother looking back and pull my bag over my shoulder.

I tug open the door and the cold air assaults my face. I remember to grab my jacket but decide against going back. Jonesey's car runs quietly in the driveway, waiting on me to get in.

I fall into the passenger's seat and buckle up, my head gently slamming against the headrest. He pulls out and starts toward his apartment.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asks, his voice soft. Tears prick the corners of my eyes and I shake my head, looking out the window.

"Are you really leaving?" He whispers, neither of us able to wrap our heads around the idea of me not being with Cassie anymore.

"If this was a stupid fight, I'd just be in the guest room," I tell him, pushing my hair from my forehead.

"Still man. It's Cassie," He says.

"I fucking know who it is, okay?" I snap, turning to look at him then back to the window. He sighs and taps his thumb on the wheel.

"I'm sorry, alright? It's just...so bizarre."

"I know it is. We just aren't working anymore. She wants kids."

"And you don't?"

"You do?"

"Well yeah."

"Then you date her, Jonesey. What's with the fucking interrogation? I just goddamn lost the girl I've been with for almost 10 years. Give me a fucking break," I grumble, glaring out at the road.

"You're a bitter son of a bitch, you know that?" He sighs.

"I know," I mumble to myself.

Jonesey pulls into his apartment complex, finding his way around the maze of buildings easily. His car squeaks as the breaks grind against the tires harshly. He turns the car off, not offering to help me with my several bags. I stumble inside behind him after climbing the long flight of stairs.

"Can't you get a place with an elevator?" I ask, heaving for breath.

"Can't you figure your shit out and stay with Cassie?"

"Dude, why do you care so fucking much?" I frown, dropping the bags at my sides.

"Because I care about her, too, Dean!"

My shoulders tense at the sudden volume and I glare back at him.

"People break up. We weren't fucking perfect," I say, my voice sharp. Jonesey rubs his eyes and turns away from me.

"I'm going to bed. Be ready to leave for work tomorrow."

I sigh and fall back onto his couch, the soft fabric hugging me tightly. The soft sound of the air conditioner coming on fills my ears and the cold air hits my bare arms. He didn't give me a blanket.

"Shit."