10 feet apart

ANA

I woke up I was in a white room all I could hear in my surrounding was faint beeping noises of the hospitals machines I could't recall what had happed to me previously but all I knew was there was a IV in my arm causing shooting pain up my arm.

    Within minutes of being awake I was surrounded by a few people but none of them were people I knew some stayed as I became more couscous of my surroundings others left until two were in the room once I felt like I was't about to puke my guts out everywhere

the only thing rolling into my mind was how I needed to leave where ever I was at

I decided I would attempt to sit up but as I attempted to sit up a young woman walked up to my bed helping me adjust as I felt pain in ever inch of my body that came with a simple task of just sitting up I was so confused and being in this new environment was not helping at all.

The young woman smiled at me taking a few steps away from my bed allwoing me to have my space ''Im Jessi i'm you're nurse'' she then looked over to the door fame where a man stood by

'' I'm Dr.Morson'' I nodded slowly trying to let all this information sink in it felt like a lot at once but it really was not

he approached the bed and Jessi gave me and him some space but still stayed in the room.

"do you know why you are here'' he looked at me for a moment before grabbing a hold of my chart sitting on my nightstand and reading off my name '' Emily?'' And I gave him a small nod as he placed the chart back down

before I was able to speak I could feel my throat and how it was dry and soar as I tried to speak all that came out was a cough and another and another until I could develop words properly witch were ''I have no idea'' I kept my eyes on the doctor carefully analyzing his posture

''well Emily you collapsed and you're heart stopped for a span of minutes'' I felt my body go numb at this news I picked up my arms and examined them before long he began to speak again ''Emily you are sick'' I stopped focusing on my arms and looked at him

''what do you mean sick?'' My voice sounded raspy and gross I almost could't even stand it myself.

"Emily'' he repeated    picking up my chart once more and getting close enough to me where he could show me my chart and on the chart next to Atrial fibrillation read Anorexia nervosa I looked at him my eyebrows furrowed together ''what are these diagnoses they can't be correct''.

    "they are'' he paused and put the chart down again "you see Emily you having this condition of Anorexia caused you to faint and have Atrial fibrillation you are sick Emily'' he repeated

I put my hands on either side of my ears to try to block this out and shaking my head I began to repeat "you're lying you're lying'' following that I faced with a grasp that was warm around my whole wrist pulling one wrist at a time away from my head I turned my  attention to whoever was doing this and it was my mother I quickly wrapped my arms around her as I began to feel tears roll down my eyes behind her stood my father he seemed calm about the whole situation that was currently unfolding as my mother began to detach herself from me I laid my back against the mountain of pillows that were placed behind me.I watched my father wrap his arm around my mother and look at me with slight concern as I began to close my eyes I felt drained after a short argument with a doctor and emotional sight of my parents appearing out of nowhere as words became mumbles they were all speaking about me soon I was't able to hear anything I was gone I was in my dreams but in my dreams I was never alone I was faced with Ana she was my friend my guide or at least that's what it seemed I never thought she would hurt me she told me so many thing's how to get people to like me how to get my self to like my self how to enjoy the world.

    Ana was a tall perhaps around 5'8 thin girl with chestnut hair and blue eyes she seemed perfect from her walk to how she presented her self to me in the dreams every outfit was executed perfectly whether he was in jeans or in a dress or in a swim suit she seemed to know everything and wanted me to be in love with myself as she was with herself.

What I did't know about Ana was she was a silent killer she was the one that caused me to collapsed she caused my heart to stop she is why I sat in cold water thinking it would make me beautiful This is why I said I was't hungry this is why I said I had to walk my dog this is why I said I had to go work out all because Ana told me this was how I was gonna fully love my self.

    Tonight's dream brought me head on to her I watched her walk up to me she had her hair curled and she wore a white sweater with small embellishments and a black skirt that went above he knee and brown little boots with socks that came up till her knee she looked worried almost frighted for me her voice was fragile but elegant sounding

''Emily Emily Emily'' she repeated before placing her delicate hand on my cheek

''you poor angel they do not understand you do they''

I shook my head at her '' no Ana''

I said in a timid voice she removed her hand and back up a little her eyes went up and down me examining my body and ever inch of it too

''oh darling you can not let them stop you now you are so close to being at the point where I know you will love you'r self as much as I love myself''

my eyes widened ''really?''

She smiled ''oh yes Emily you are so close'' she walked around me in a circle

'' do not listen to them dear they are lying to you you are as healthy as a peach''

I nodded akwologing her statement '' I will do anything I can ''

she wrapped her arms from behind around me

''good..oh so very good'' she whispered into my ear before walking away and disappearing.