The Mafia Boyfriend

The Lies

I slowly dial my stepdad's number. Sweat starts to build up at my nape as I think about what I am going to tell him. Not only didn't I confirm my safe arrival back to my house last week, which was really unusual from me, I also hadn't done my weekly call with him. Charles would know that something was up. And I had absolutely no idea on how to explain to him that I had been kidnapped by a Gang Leader. It didn't really sound like something that a father wishes for his daughter. I feel increasingly more nervous as I hear the phone ringing. It feels like hours until he picks up, even though it couldn't have been more than a few seconds.

- Charles Montgomery speaking.

- Hey Dad..

- A., is... is that you?

- Yeah.. hum, listen.

- A. Montgomery, I know you are already a grown lady, but you are also a in-deep-trouble kind of lady! What the hell happened? You were supposed to call. I have been worried sick for the past week!

I feel really shitty as I hear his desperate voice. I knew it had been rough on him. I could hear his frowning face from the other side of the call. 

- I thought about calling the police! - He keeps going. - You didn't even show up at work! I would know because I tried calling your boss. And she is pretty pissed too, by the way. I thought you were missing. Even the calls to your cellphone don't go through. Are you okay??

- Charles, Charles, I know. I'm sorry. To be honest, I have to admit that I had a small mental breakdown. As I was driving home, I realized how much my life wasn't what I had expected and how depressed I was. I felt like there was no more meaning to it. - I was going to go to hell for this. But just an ordinary excuse would never make my dear stepdad believe me. - I decided to take some time of my own. You know, to breath out. But I am okay, I promise. I just need some time for myself.  

Tears prickle at my eyes. I am ending him. But I have to do it.

- And that means that I might not always be reachable. I'll keep checking in though, okay? I tried talking to my boss, but you know how she is... she didn't really took it well. But don't worry, I'll sort everything out. - I hoped that there was at least some truth to that last part.

Charles' tone changed after my rather unexpected confession as I explain it further. His voice became more hoarse as he asks me how I am doing. He had not seen it coming, since I had appeared to be okay in my last visit. And neither did I. It had sort of just blurted out of my mouth. It broke my heart to have to lie to my best friend. But it had been for his own good. I could never ever tell him that I was now working for a Gang without any choice in the matter. Charles would have involved the police and I was scared for my stepdad's safety. There was no way that Alex would let that pass. Alex could be a better person than what I first had imagined but, in the end, he was still Cinco's leader for a reason. His fame of ruthlessness was wide spread.

Tears swell up to my eyes as I end the call and promise to come back to him soon. Truth is, that I have no clue about my future. Will Alex ever let me go? Or will I be a prisoner of Cinco for the rest of my life. I slowly give back the phone to Alex, hopelessness in my face.

- You did good, A. - He reassures me with a hint of a smile. - It was for the best, believe me. It might seem hard now, but you will get used to the life here. And who knows, if you do well, you might get more privileges. The Cinco needs you here. I need you here.

At the last statement, I urgently search for Alex's eyes. He had never sounded so vulnerable before. Like he was showing actual feelings for a second. It had been a tiny split second but I had seen it. He felt pain for me. The big Alex, the known cutting fingers Monster, had shown vulnerability. And towards me. However, I didn't think I should take it as a win. Cinco was my life now and it had stolen my old one. Unfortunately there was nothing I could do about it. The least I could do was give these people a meaningful life.

- Yeah, Alex. I know. But that doesn't make it any less harder. I have people out there who worry about me. And I miss them. - And I really did miss them. I even miss my degenerate of a mother. I wondered if I would ever get a chance back to make up all these years with her. I hoped so.

- I understand. If this makes it any better, I need you to go get dressed. - He seems to try to lighten up the mood. There is no way that I can forget about my problems right now but the air feels lighter as he put his smirk back on and talks with confidence. I really like his smile. It somehow feels right.

- What, why? - I ask, completely confused.

- I'm going out for dinner. And you're coming with me.